The problem is that my son's real father will see him and then dissappear.A couple of months later he will send me an e-mail stating that if I don't let him see my son he's going to take me to court and all.So I let him see my son and it's the same thing over again right after the visit's over.He says that he's already talked to a lawyer and that he will have my son 1 weekend every 2 weeks if we go to court but, my son doesn't know him!What can I do to fight back and keep him from doing this b/s stuff and acting so immature?My son see's my b/f as his Daddy because he's the only one who's been there pretty much the whole time.I'm just afraid that my son's real dad will get custody or visitation and my son will be HORRIFIED going to some guys house every other weekend that he doesn't know!!What can I do?
Additional:He does pay child support ONLY because it's taken out of his paycheck.When we had an agreement before he didn't pay which is why I took him to court.I'm 19 and he's 25.Baby Dad Problems....Advice?
Start keeping a journal %26amp; file on the number of attempts to spend times with your child along with the emails. Even journal when he does his disappearing acts. Get a Social Worker to do a mediation %26amp; explain in front of a witness why you are reserved in visitation. I am sure it is hard for your child %26amp; with your child best interest @ heart you would like it if he were more consistant. Because he has failed to demonstrate consistancy, you recommend parenting classes. This will be documented by the state %26amp; if he should take you 2 court most judges will deny him if he has made no attempt to follow through %26amp; will see that your concerns as a parent are not unreasonable. You have to keep records on all conversations though. Mark the days he calls %26amp; the days he doesn't. Journal the type of ppl who will be spending time with your child if he had visitation. If he %26amp; his friends are unstable or unresponsible then you have nothing to worry about. Tell the judge you are concern about the influences he allows around the child. I am sure you don't approve of drinking, smoking, profanity etc. around an impressionable child. Point, document everything %26amp; sell it!!! %26lt; (Your Case I mean)Baby Dad Problems....Advice?
Well the thing is that he does have rights to go after visits and he is right he will get every other weekend, that is the standard visitation for non-custodial parents. If you try to fight it then you will have prove him unfit otherwise it will come across that you are trying to alienate your son from his biological father.
If he is paying child support then he has the right to see his child. The only way for him to see his child is if you and the b/f get married and adopts the child. Then the daddy needs to give up his rights.
Proving him unfit in the eyes of the court is a lot harder then you think. Courts do NOT like to terminate biological parents rights for the mother OR father. Unless you can prove documented abuse to your child you are very unlikely to be awared a custody order which does not involve visitiation for the father. They may order for supervised visitation if you can prove neglect, drug/alcohol abuse, lack of stability but he will still have some visitation. You need an attorney and you need to go to court and get a visitiation order in place. If he disapears for weeks or months you can go back to court and have the original order amended but you need an original order first. And a visitation hearing is completely seperate from support. Until you have a visitation order he legally has the right to pick his son up anytime he wants. He has the legal right to anything regarding your son that you do. Including picking him up from school without you being notified, taking him to the doctor without your knowledge. He is entitled to visits wether he pays support or not in the eyes of the law.
to start child support has nothing to do with visitation, weather he is paying it or not it is his son. it sounds like to me that you two need to grow up a little bit. Unless he is abusive or neglets your child in any way than there is no reason for him not to be able to see him. As far as your son not knowing him maybe you two need to get together and have visits so your son knows who he is. If you further dont want him around your son let him take you to court and explain to the judge that he comes and goes and takes no active roll in your sons life and you are just trying to protect his feelings. Until something is ordered by the court you have no obligation to let him be with him. It is a tough situation and hopefully you have learned so this wont be an issue with another child in the future.
My dad is just like that with my little brother whos 8. My paretns split up a few years back and since then my dads in and outta all of our lives. Me and my sis are old enough to where we can call him and we understand. My dad demanded visitiation and everything my mom would agree she did not want to go thru court. She didnt want him to have anything to do w my bro no child support nothing. Long story short the court did demand that my dad have therapy and my brother and dad have visitation but it b w either the therapist or an appointed person. its been almost a yr and its still like this. My mom didnt want his taking my brother overnight or anything. You can demand visitation to where he will not be able to take your son or be alone with him. You must request it tho.
YOU need to go to family court to have a order of visitation rights done. This way, if he does what you say he is doing when the order is place, then you have a foot to stand on. You can go back to the court and say hey, he is ordered to see his son...., but he will see him once and then disappear.
I would also start writing down the days he does see him. When you go to court to prove your case, the judge by discontinue his visitation rights.
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