Okay, I really like this guy and he asked me out, but my parents were like pretty clear before, ';No dating until you're 18.'; ';It's pointless to date before university.'; I'm 14, what should I do?
I told him ';Maybe,'; I really want to say yes, but then my parents probably will get mad at me, or something. -_-
Any Advice?Boy/parent problems? Advice?
Say yes anyways.Boy/parent problems? Advice?
14 is a little young to be going on solo dates. If you get to hand out with your guy friends that your parents don't know, then hang out with this guy the same way. Tell him the truth about your parents, that they don't want you dating yet.
Then have a serious talk with your parents about boundaries and letting you have SOME opportunities. Ask for clear rules like perhaps, when you are 16, you can hang out with groups at public places, that may include boys, etc etc - SOME negotiation on their behalf. But do it calmly. Don't get that whiney voice deal that some girls do - it will only irritate them and make you seem less mature. If you can impress them with your maturity, then they might be more willing to let you do things you want.
It's hard to say seeing as i don't know how strict your parents are, but im guessing quite strict!
Maybe you could play down the boyfriend part to them and just kinda talk about it to your parents as if this guy is just a mate.
If you don't want to do that and they really won't let you go out with him you could just see him and say you are with your girl mates.. they won't find out for ages!
Well lets see I'm 13 and my mom doesn't care if I date but my dad is a freak about it.When he drops me and my friends off at the mall he always says no kissing and no boys, well....I have a boyfriend and I meet him at the mall... So I think you should say yes to this ';guy'; I mean if you get in trouble it's not like your parents are going to disown you...
You're way too young to go out alone with a boy. But talk to your parents and ask them if you can go on double dates with this boy and some of your friends. Many parents allow their children to do this, and then you can tell the guy yes.
Lie, it's what I do.
my parets said that to i did anyway
they found out and they dident say anything bout it well i told em
tell they guy about ur parents and maybe u two can still be ';going out'; but without going places all the time i dont know. or maybe go out with a bunch off friends and invite him to come. that way u can tell ur parents ur with friends or be out with friends and tell him to meet u there. there are alot of things u can do 2 get around this
i agree with the person who said go on a double date my dad is very strict about boys but he let me go on this kind of a date
but parents should be worried about this thats wat parents do if they dident have rules for u that would meam they dident care about u and dont wana deal with u
Monday, August 23, 2010
Pet rat problems....advice needed, please.?
I currently have a hairless rat named Bobo. He is an awesome little guy but I am very distressed about a couple of things. Next year I am going to be transferring colleges and will no longer be living at home. Obviously, I won't be able to take Bobo with me. The thing is, I know that no one else in my family will want to take care of him, and I really don't want to just abandon him like that. I've been worrying a lot about what I am going to do when that time comes. I will feel terrible giving him up, and I definitely want to make it as easy as possible on him, and be sure that he's being cared for properly. I have thought about asking people on MySpace but I really don't think anyone I am friends with on there will be dying to adopt a hairless rat....
Second, obviously, he doesn't have a cagemate, and I feel terrible about that fact. But with my whole moving situation, I don't know if it's a good idea to get yet another rat that I'll have to abandon. Plus, I am not sure how well it would work out. I read that it's easy to introduce young rats, but I am not sure how old he is...he is a decent size, so I'd say he's probably not too young.
So, please if you have any advice for me, I would appreciate it. I want to give Bobo the best life I possibly can.Pet rat problems....advice needed, please.?
Do NOT have a teacher take it in as a class pet. I've heard way too many stories of kids trying to kill or steal class pets. If I wasn't so busy with school, and if you lived near me I would have loved to foster it. But alas things never go the way we want. :(
If your family doesn't want to take care of him, find a Reputable rat breeder (maybe the one you bought him from?) to take care of him while you're away. Make sure they do NOT sell rats as feeders. And check that their own rats are healthy and clean, otherwise your rat may contract some disease or sickness from them. If there are no breeders in your area, do you have any friends who are staying in the area and can take care of him?
Lastly, the only choice you might have is to post an ad on craigslist. See if anyone is willing to foster your rat while you're away. Remember to make sure they don't have any pets that can harm him, and what would be best is if they actually owned rats themselves so they know exactly how to take care of him and what to do should anything unfortunate happen. I really wish I could help you more, but I have no more ideas.
I wish you the best of luck.Pet rat problems....advice needed, please.?
You might be able to see if a local elementary school teacher is willing to take on a class pet. If you are taking the summer off from collage and coming home you may be able to keep Bobo during the schools summer vacation.
You are very considerate...
I have two rats and I know how you feel.
I suggest giving him to the pet shop or a rat breeder (they do exist!)
If the rat is not to old, they should take him.
All the best.
Don't listen to the poster below, a pet shop usually won't take your rat, and if they do they will breed it. I don't think you want your rat being bred so these idiots can make a few dollars. First off, if your rat is older, he (hate to say it like this) may not be around after that year. Rats have shorts lives. Usually 2 to 3 years. I just had to find a home for my rat, but I went on the internet and found an online rat community with people in my area, I think that would e your best bet. As far as a cage mate, I personally wouldn't get another one.
I live on a campus that does not allow pets and I have 2 pet rats. You just have to hide them. lol. I mean, I would look at the campus and the dorm styles and maybe you could just sneak him in, I've been living on my campus for nearly 2 years and I know so many people that have pet hamsters, rats, etc. People have even sneaked dogs! (I don't know how they manged that but still...) So I would try finding people from the school you'll be going to and asking about if its possible to have a pet in there. I mean, rats are quiet as it is. My resident advisor knows I have 2 pet rats and he just pretends he doesn't know. So I'd just see what it is like there. You never know. I mean, I'm not trying to encourage you to do something that might get you in trouble but the worst a school will do is tell you to get rid of him and then you'll be back in the same situation you are in now. Good luck! Hope all goes well.
I understand how you feel, I'm very loyal to my pets too. They are your commitment as long as they are alive. I have 2 pet rats myself and a dog etc. well, I don't mean to seem morbid, but rats don't live too long 3-5 yrs. max.I don't know what part of the country you live in,but, I would take your rat for you if you still need somebody to at that time, I live in southern CA. Oh, and like others have said don't take him to a pet shop(he may end up snake food) Maybe go to the pet shop or exotic pet vet and ask about any kind of small critter clubs in your area. People in rat clubs love rats and know about their needs and will probably not breed him, just take good care of him. Hope that helps, try not to stress too much.
Try finding a local breeder or small animal rescue to take him in. If that fails, start posting ads on Craigslist.
There's also the option of taking him with you, thought it can be risky for you. I assume you're moving into a college dorm? Most of them don't allow any kind of pets besides fish, but there are a few who will allow small animals. You may as well double-check to make sure your college doesn't allow them before you get rid of Bobo.
Anyway, I have 2 pet rats in my college dorm room. Since most colleges announce room inspections far in advance, it's really not hard to hide an animal in a dorm. I know people with cats and dogs in their dorms, though I don't recommend that. However, a small animal that doesn't require a lot of space can easily be smuggled into a dorm. ;)
Please don't offer Bobo to a pet store, he could end up as snake food. See if there's a small animal rescue near you. If not, ask your vet if they can help you. If you post on Craigslist screen potential adopters carefully. You might want to charge an adoption fee so that only serious pet guardians would consider taking him. Our local rat rescue charges $15 for 2 rats ($10 for 1), to discourage anyone who may be looking to feed a reptile.
BTW, it's certainly possible to introduce adult rats, especially an older rat to a pup. The introduction process usually takes a couple of weeks. We've done successful intros with rats over 2 yrs in age. Rats are much happier if they have other rats to pal around with %26amp; hairless rats should have @ least 1 furry friend. Our hairless girl has 3 cage mates, all younger than her
Good luck to you %26amp; Bobo. I hope something turns up for him.
In almost every state there are specialty rescues where they take in several small rodents like rats and mice. The people that run these are usually very knowledgeable in rodent care and they would more than likely have a cage mate or cage mates for your pet.
A list can be found here: http://www.rmca.org/Rescue/orphans/index.php?method=showhtmllist%26amp;list=adoptionscategory%26amp;rollid=1%26amp;fromfromlist=adoptionscategory%26amp;fromfrommethod=showhtmllist%26amp;clearoff=1
I would suggest calling ahead to make sure the rescue is still there as that website can take a while to update their lists.
It isn't actually that hard to introduce two adult rats. I've done it with a lot of success several times. A neutral area is the best place for introduction. I've found a bathtub is a good choice. So that both rats smell the same, a little bit of vanilla at the base of the tail helps. I've only had one unsuccessful introduction using this method. I ended up neutering the male and he lived with four female rats for the rest of his life.
First thing, introducing two adult rats is very, VERY difficult. So I would forget that part. As to what to do with Bobo when you go away to college. See if you can take him with you, if you can't get and you can't get someone to take Bobo, then try a rat rescue organization. But if Bobo is an adult rat, I hate to tell you this but he might not live that long. Rats only live about 2 years. Best of luck with what ever you decide.
Hello. I live in PA and I own well over 20 rats. Half of them being hairless. You seem very considerate and Bobo will be better off staying with his mommy until she leaves. Do not get another cage mate as that will just double your problem. Male rats that are not young are not that easy to get a companion for. Females usually accept companions better. But males are a bit trickier and he is an adult as well. Plus you are already stressing over having to re home 1. Rats have a life of 2 to 3 years and your lucky if they do hit around the 2 year mark. Hairless can live on the shorter side of the spectrum because of their genes. You may not actually have to make a choice depending on when you leave for school. I would take him in a heartbeat but I am sure you are not in PA. Try a rat group or rat adoption place. Not a breeder or pet store tho. Keep your guy with you until it's time to go. Fate may make it easier on you. But at least he will not have to leave his mom for now. It is best for him to stay with you in his home and in his known environment unless something else comes up. Giving him up sooner if you don't have to will not make it any easier on him. Some rats adjust nice and some rats grieve for their loss when re homed. It all depends on how close you two are.. Good luck.
Second, obviously, he doesn't have a cagemate, and I feel terrible about that fact. But with my whole moving situation, I don't know if it's a good idea to get yet another rat that I'll have to abandon. Plus, I am not sure how well it would work out. I read that it's easy to introduce young rats, but I am not sure how old he is...he is a decent size, so I'd say he's probably not too young.
So, please if you have any advice for me, I would appreciate it. I want to give Bobo the best life I possibly can.Pet rat problems....advice needed, please.?
Do NOT have a teacher take it in as a class pet. I've heard way too many stories of kids trying to kill or steal class pets. If I wasn't so busy with school, and if you lived near me I would have loved to foster it. But alas things never go the way we want. :(
If your family doesn't want to take care of him, find a Reputable rat breeder (maybe the one you bought him from?) to take care of him while you're away. Make sure they do NOT sell rats as feeders. And check that their own rats are healthy and clean, otherwise your rat may contract some disease or sickness from them. If there are no breeders in your area, do you have any friends who are staying in the area and can take care of him?
Lastly, the only choice you might have is to post an ad on craigslist. See if anyone is willing to foster your rat while you're away. Remember to make sure they don't have any pets that can harm him, and what would be best is if they actually owned rats themselves so they know exactly how to take care of him and what to do should anything unfortunate happen. I really wish I could help you more, but I have no more ideas.
I wish you the best of luck.Pet rat problems....advice needed, please.?
You might be able to see if a local elementary school teacher is willing to take on a class pet. If you are taking the summer off from collage and coming home you may be able to keep Bobo during the schools summer vacation.
You are very considerate...
I have two rats and I know how you feel.
I suggest giving him to the pet shop or a rat breeder (they do exist!)
If the rat is not to old, they should take him.
All the best.
Don't listen to the poster below, a pet shop usually won't take your rat, and if they do they will breed it. I don't think you want your rat being bred so these idiots can make a few dollars. First off, if your rat is older, he (hate to say it like this) may not be around after that year. Rats have shorts lives. Usually 2 to 3 years. I just had to find a home for my rat, but I went on the internet and found an online rat community with people in my area, I think that would e your best bet. As far as a cage mate, I personally wouldn't get another one.
I live on a campus that does not allow pets and I have 2 pet rats. You just have to hide them. lol. I mean, I would look at the campus and the dorm styles and maybe you could just sneak him in, I've been living on my campus for nearly 2 years and I know so many people that have pet hamsters, rats, etc. People have even sneaked dogs! (I don't know how they manged that but still...) So I would try finding people from the school you'll be going to and asking about if its possible to have a pet in there. I mean, rats are quiet as it is. My resident advisor knows I have 2 pet rats and he just pretends he doesn't know. So I'd just see what it is like there. You never know. I mean, I'm not trying to encourage you to do something that might get you in trouble but the worst a school will do is tell you to get rid of him and then you'll be back in the same situation you are in now. Good luck! Hope all goes well.
I understand how you feel, I'm very loyal to my pets too. They are your commitment as long as they are alive. I have 2 pet rats myself and a dog etc. well, I don't mean to seem morbid, but rats don't live too long 3-5 yrs. max.I don't know what part of the country you live in,but, I would take your rat for you if you still need somebody to at that time, I live in southern CA. Oh, and like others have said don't take him to a pet shop(he may end up snake food) Maybe go to the pet shop or exotic pet vet and ask about any kind of small critter clubs in your area. People in rat clubs love rats and know about their needs and will probably not breed him, just take good care of him. Hope that helps, try not to stress too much.
Try finding a local breeder or small animal rescue to take him in. If that fails, start posting ads on Craigslist.
There's also the option of taking him with you, thought it can be risky for you. I assume you're moving into a college dorm? Most of them don't allow any kind of pets besides fish, but there are a few who will allow small animals. You may as well double-check to make sure your college doesn't allow them before you get rid of Bobo.
Anyway, I have 2 pet rats in my college dorm room. Since most colleges announce room inspections far in advance, it's really not hard to hide an animal in a dorm. I know people with cats and dogs in their dorms, though I don't recommend that. However, a small animal that doesn't require a lot of space can easily be smuggled into a dorm. ;)
Please don't offer Bobo to a pet store, he could end up as snake food. See if there's a small animal rescue near you. If not, ask your vet if they can help you. If you post on Craigslist screen potential adopters carefully. You might want to charge an adoption fee so that only serious pet guardians would consider taking him. Our local rat rescue charges $15 for 2 rats ($10 for 1), to discourage anyone who may be looking to feed a reptile.
BTW, it's certainly possible to introduce adult rats, especially an older rat to a pup. The introduction process usually takes a couple of weeks. We've done successful intros with rats over 2 yrs in age. Rats are much happier if they have other rats to pal around with %26amp; hairless rats should have @ least 1 furry friend. Our hairless girl has 3 cage mates, all younger than her
Good luck to you %26amp; Bobo. I hope something turns up for him.
In almost every state there are specialty rescues where they take in several small rodents like rats and mice. The people that run these are usually very knowledgeable in rodent care and they would more than likely have a cage mate or cage mates for your pet.
A list can be found here: http://www.rmca.org/Rescue/orphans/index.php?method=showhtmllist%26amp;list=adoptionscategory%26amp;rollid=1%26amp;fromfromlist=adoptionscategory%26amp;fromfrommethod=showhtmllist%26amp;clearoff=1
I would suggest calling ahead to make sure the rescue is still there as that website can take a while to update their lists.
It isn't actually that hard to introduce two adult rats. I've done it with a lot of success several times. A neutral area is the best place for introduction. I've found a bathtub is a good choice. So that both rats smell the same, a little bit of vanilla at the base of the tail helps. I've only had one unsuccessful introduction using this method. I ended up neutering the male and he lived with four female rats for the rest of his life.
First thing, introducing two adult rats is very, VERY difficult. So I would forget that part. As to what to do with Bobo when you go away to college. See if you can take him with you, if you can't get and you can't get someone to take Bobo, then try a rat rescue organization. But if Bobo is an adult rat, I hate to tell you this but he might not live that long. Rats only live about 2 years. Best of luck with what ever you decide.
Hello. I live in PA and I own well over 20 rats. Half of them being hairless. You seem very considerate and Bobo will be better off staying with his mommy until she leaves. Do not get another cage mate as that will just double your problem. Male rats that are not young are not that easy to get a companion for. Females usually accept companions better. But males are a bit trickier and he is an adult as well. Plus you are already stressing over having to re home 1. Rats have a life of 2 to 3 years and your lucky if they do hit around the 2 year mark. Hairless can live on the shorter side of the spectrum because of their genes. You may not actually have to make a choice depending on when you leave for school. I would take him in a heartbeat but I am sure you are not in PA. Try a rat group or rat adoption place. Not a breeder or pet store tho. Keep your guy with you until it's time to go. Fate may make it easier on you. But at least he will not have to leave his mom for now. It is best for him to stay with you in his home and in his known environment unless something else comes up. Giving him up sooner if you don't have to will not make it any easier on him. Some rats adjust nice and some rats grieve for their loss when re homed. It all depends on how close you two are.. Good luck.
Minor relationship problems, advice greatly appreciated!?
We've been together for over a year now. Things have been great, theres a lot of love between us and we're best friend. We can talk about anything really. But recently things have become a bit more difficult. He begins to get quiet and look sad, I feel like hes pushing me away. He gets sad for no apparent reason and doesnt know why. Its happened more and more. I desperatley want to help but there nothing I can really do. It make me feel awful, I worry and have suffered quite badly from anxiety before, this has started to set it off again. Its making us miserable. We've tried talking, taking a break from eah other and avoiding each other when it happens. Nothing really works. I love him, I really do. There are times when we're fine and thouse are brilliant.We've spoken of a wonderful future and engagement has been mentioned. I cant leave him but Im finding this very hard to cope with, the sadness and worry are too much. Its painful. Please help, Im worried we're falling apart :( thanksMinor relationship problems, advice greatly appreciated!?
Whenever i read your posted question it strangely reminded me of me and my girlfriend. Sarah and myself have been together for 3 years this october and are deeply in love with one another. Things have been great for the most part for our entire relationship. Within the last 3 months it is like we began to drift apart. Some of the same things you spoke of were happening to us too (sarah has a anxiety problem even). We went on a break for a while and then realized we loved eachother too much to be apart, but we still worried about fixing our problems. What we had to do was sit down and have a heart to heart conversation together. We let it all out and what was bothering us and how we felt. We then layed down some new rules for our realtionship (things we felt we were not doing, but should) and we have been getting closer and closer to being the ';old us'; that we both missed so much. you and your boyfriend need to sit down and tell eachother exactly how you feel. You have to remember that so many people treat relationships too seriously. It is all about trust, love, companionship, and most importantly, having fun. If you cannot have fun together anymore and enjoy spending time together, things will not work out in the long run. I hope my too long response here might help out somewhat. If not i am sorry for making you read all this. GOOD LUCKMinor relationship problems, advice greatly appreciated!?
Im glad I was able to help. I wish you two the best of luck.
Could be a few things going on here; he could be scared of making a commitment cos of past rejection or some deep seated fear of commitment but the fact that you've both discussed engagement and stuff wouldn't perhaps suggest this.
Some men need time to withdraw into their metaphorical cave when they have stuff on their minds; maybe he just needs some space at these times; nothing as formal as actually saying we will take a break from one another, just perhaps give him some time on his own when he feels like this.
It does sound like he's got some form of depression and may actually benefit from some counselling or a mild anti-depressant to lift his mood a bit.
I've been in a similar situation with my bloke and this situation can go in a downward spiral where you both feel down and anxious and can't be strong for each other. Have you got anyone in your family or friends you can discuss this with. Sometimes you need to get support from somewhere outside the relationship so you can be strong in it.
Hope that helps and you two go onto have a happy life together. xx
You are probably bored with each other. What you should do is talk about your day, and ask about his. Do not go deep in conversations. If it gets to a point where you can't take it anymore, just end it. Its gonna be harder if you wait any longer.
it sounds like he may be dealing with depression. either something personal is going on with him and he is afraid to talk to you about it. he might want to see a doctor. if he doesnt deal with this things between you guys will fall apart. i know you love him and want to help, but there may be nothing you can do about it till he gets help. just be there for him and be supportive. the more you push the issue, the more he will close you out. good luck. i wish i could help.
There is something he is not telling you..but you are being left out of the loop.. You know there is a point when someone is pulling you down that you have to cut them off for self preservation..Its hard and it hurts but you will look behind and be glad you did it.. if it was meant to be he will come around when he is better. but you cant fix all things in love.
only been a year, think about the stuff you love and how things will be next year with him acting this way, then think if this is how you want to live your life
could be a toxicity, could be a chemical imbalance.. could be allot of things.. the first thing I would do is talk to a Quantum Biofeedback proffessional about it..They can balance and hyper-relax him.. that will do allot. Not knowing if there is sleep problems, pain or all the details that is my best advice.
The relationship has fallen apart because he has fallen away. You are hanging on which is why is ';seems'; as if the relationship is falling apart. You deserve someone that wants you without reservation. He clearly does. Move on, quickly, for your sake.
Have you thought about maybe he's suffering from depression? Just a thought if he doesn't know why he's sad...I'm not sure what could have triggered it but that could be the case. Maybe have him go to a dr just to check it out? Its worth checking! If not, maybe try and get him to talk to someone, maybe there's something going on that you actually don't know about. Its possible! That's all i can think of...:( Sorry
i hade the same thing happen with ma and a girl
it got relly bad we were alwas fighting and mad at eachother
it was becomeing so much to coup with that in the end we hade to just break it off for good befor one of us killd someone
';He gets sad for no apparent reason and doesnt know why';. He does have a reason however that reason is not apparent to you because either he doesn't think you can take his explanation of why he is acting that way or it has to do with something you do that he doesn't feel comfortable talking to you about just yet.
Your relationship is falling apart. He seems to be shying from you and he could be afraid of marriage and divorce, marriage and no more dating, marriage that becomes ho-hum, raising children, he is just not sure you are the one, he thinks one of you is going to move away, he thinks you are too good for him, he has heard a rumor about you, or he is not ready for sex (like a rash). You need to get him to tell you what it is. He will probably first say something like you are smothering him or he just needs time or space. Perhaps it would be easier for him if you ran down the list and asked him to just shake or nod his head to answer to each one until you find out what it is and if you can do something about it or just accept it as a difference you can't do anything about.
Talk to him and ask him if there is something wrong....I wish you all the best
Some men withdraw when they have something bothering them, They need to work it out themselves don't pressure him girls want to talk thru guys want to think thru give him some time when he is ready he will talk to you.
You need to find out what is making him act like that. Maybe he is realizing how serious your relationship has become and he's afraid and worried about the committment.
Maybe it is his work or school or his family. Without knowing what is causing him to act like that, there is no way for you to help him. If he refuses to tell you, then he can't expect you to help him or change what might be bothering him.
He may also be depressed, look up the signs of depression and see if any of them apply to him, if so, you may want to ask him to see a doctor.
Ask him maybe one of friends died. Maybe he has cancer or something, but I would still love her if it was my girlfriend.
you can always make a surprise dinner and have it together and you might wanna consider going to the cinemas more often and watch your favourite movies and maybe crooze around town sometimes and go for parties. well that is whayt i can reccomend you to do have sme wine and make your patner start talking by asking him some questions i hope this works for you
Whenever i read your posted question it strangely reminded me of me and my girlfriend. Sarah and myself have been together for 3 years this october and are deeply in love with one another. Things have been great for the most part for our entire relationship. Within the last 3 months it is like we began to drift apart. Some of the same things you spoke of were happening to us too (sarah has a anxiety problem even). We went on a break for a while and then realized we loved eachother too much to be apart, but we still worried about fixing our problems. What we had to do was sit down and have a heart to heart conversation together. We let it all out and what was bothering us and how we felt. We then layed down some new rules for our realtionship (things we felt we were not doing, but should) and we have been getting closer and closer to being the ';old us'; that we both missed so much. you and your boyfriend need to sit down and tell eachother exactly how you feel. You have to remember that so many people treat relationships too seriously. It is all about trust, love, companionship, and most importantly, having fun. If you cannot have fun together anymore and enjoy spending time together, things will not work out in the long run. I hope my too long response here might help out somewhat. If not i am sorry for making you read all this. GOOD LUCKMinor relationship problems, advice greatly appreciated!?
Im glad I was able to help. I wish you two the best of luck.
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Could be a few things going on here; he could be scared of making a commitment cos of past rejection or some deep seated fear of commitment but the fact that you've both discussed engagement and stuff wouldn't perhaps suggest this.
Some men need time to withdraw into their metaphorical cave when they have stuff on their minds; maybe he just needs some space at these times; nothing as formal as actually saying we will take a break from one another, just perhaps give him some time on his own when he feels like this.
It does sound like he's got some form of depression and may actually benefit from some counselling or a mild anti-depressant to lift his mood a bit.
I've been in a similar situation with my bloke and this situation can go in a downward spiral where you both feel down and anxious and can't be strong for each other. Have you got anyone in your family or friends you can discuss this with. Sometimes you need to get support from somewhere outside the relationship so you can be strong in it.
Hope that helps and you two go onto have a happy life together. xx
You are probably bored with each other. What you should do is talk about your day, and ask about his. Do not go deep in conversations. If it gets to a point where you can't take it anymore, just end it. Its gonna be harder if you wait any longer.
it sounds like he may be dealing with depression. either something personal is going on with him and he is afraid to talk to you about it. he might want to see a doctor. if he doesnt deal with this things between you guys will fall apart. i know you love him and want to help, but there may be nothing you can do about it till he gets help. just be there for him and be supportive. the more you push the issue, the more he will close you out. good luck. i wish i could help.
There is something he is not telling you..but you are being left out of the loop.. You know there is a point when someone is pulling you down that you have to cut them off for self preservation..Its hard and it hurts but you will look behind and be glad you did it.. if it was meant to be he will come around when he is better. but you cant fix all things in love.
only been a year, think about the stuff you love and how things will be next year with him acting this way, then think if this is how you want to live your life
could be a toxicity, could be a chemical imbalance.. could be allot of things.. the first thing I would do is talk to a Quantum Biofeedback proffessional about it..They can balance and hyper-relax him.. that will do allot. Not knowing if there is sleep problems, pain or all the details that is my best advice.
The relationship has fallen apart because he has fallen away. You are hanging on which is why is ';seems'; as if the relationship is falling apart. You deserve someone that wants you without reservation. He clearly does. Move on, quickly, for your sake.
Have you thought about maybe he's suffering from depression? Just a thought if he doesn't know why he's sad...I'm not sure what could have triggered it but that could be the case. Maybe have him go to a dr just to check it out? Its worth checking! If not, maybe try and get him to talk to someone, maybe there's something going on that you actually don't know about. Its possible! That's all i can think of...:( Sorry
i hade the same thing happen with ma and a girl
it got relly bad we were alwas fighting and mad at eachother
it was becomeing so much to coup with that in the end we hade to just break it off for good befor one of us killd someone
';He gets sad for no apparent reason and doesnt know why';. He does have a reason however that reason is not apparent to you because either he doesn't think you can take his explanation of why he is acting that way or it has to do with something you do that he doesn't feel comfortable talking to you about just yet.
Your relationship is falling apart. He seems to be shying from you and he could be afraid of marriage and divorce, marriage and no more dating, marriage that becomes ho-hum, raising children, he is just not sure you are the one, he thinks one of you is going to move away, he thinks you are too good for him, he has heard a rumor about you, or he is not ready for sex (like a rash). You need to get him to tell you what it is. He will probably first say something like you are smothering him or he just needs time or space. Perhaps it would be easier for him if you ran down the list and asked him to just shake or nod his head to answer to each one until you find out what it is and if you can do something about it or just accept it as a difference you can't do anything about.
Talk to him and ask him if there is something wrong....I wish you all the best
Some men withdraw when they have something bothering them, They need to work it out themselves don't pressure him girls want to talk thru guys want to think thru give him some time when he is ready he will talk to you.
You need to find out what is making him act like that. Maybe he is realizing how serious your relationship has become and he's afraid and worried about the committment.
Maybe it is his work or school or his family. Without knowing what is causing him to act like that, there is no way for you to help him. If he refuses to tell you, then he can't expect you to help him or change what might be bothering him.
He may also be depressed, look up the signs of depression and see if any of them apply to him, if so, you may want to ask him to see a doctor.
Ask him maybe one of friends died. Maybe he has cancer or something, but I would still love her if it was my girlfriend.
you can always make a surprise dinner and have it together and you might wanna consider going to the cinemas more often and watch your favourite movies and maybe crooze around town sometimes and go for parties. well that is whayt i can reccomend you to do have sme wine and make your patner start talking by asking him some questions i hope this works for you
Trailer loading problems - advice?
In the 2 years I've owned my horse, Wrangler, I've NEVER had a trailer loading problem with him. He has always loaded fine without hesitation, as far as we know he's fine when we're hauling, and he unloads just fine. Sometimes he's been a little anxious to get out, but he stands when I ask him too.
Yesterday we went to a horse show and he wouldn't load into the trailer. It was a 4 horse slant load, and he was going in last. We finally unloaded the horse in the 3rd stall and put Wrangler in there and he went in after about 30 seconds of hesitating. But it took us 1-2 minutes to get him to step over to close the divider. I rode with my other horse in a different truck/trailer, but from what I've heard he hauled fine. I also wasn't there when he was unloaded. (My cousin was using him so she was with him) But apparently, they took the other horse out, and as soon as they unlatched the divider he started pulling back and rearing. He got his back feet out and then fell and some one....Trailer loading problems - advice?
Well, my thought on the initial loading problem is that getting into the last stall of a slant can be a little tricky for a horse that doesn't know how to do it when the wasted space tack compartment is in use. They have to go through a narrow space and turn at the same time. He just might not have been able to see or figure out where to go.
My next thought is why, for the love of god, are you unlatching the divider before the horse is untied? That can lead to exactly what happened. He thought he was loose because the divider was open, hit the end of the lead rope, and panicked. Then he hurt his head which panicked him more. And now he sees the trailer as a source of pain.
Its already a tremendous act of trust for a horse to get in a trailer. As prey animals, being confined is very scary for them. As a result, it is very easy for them to panic in there.
BOTH incidents could have been very easily prevented by just untying him first. In the future, untie the horse first and you won't have any problems with his panicking when he hits the end of the lead rope.
Now that these incidents have happened, he may have a fear of loading for some time and it will take some work on your part to work through it. If you can have access to the same or a similar trailer for some training time, you and your horse can practice loading and unloading many times over without the pressure of needing to be somewhere. Take a bucket of feed and spend some time loading and unloading and make it pleasant for him. In order to do this safely, the trailer will need to be hitched up to a tow vehicle to keep it stable. An unhitched trailer can be moved around by the force of a horse stepping in and out.
Good luck.
EDIT - Untie him from outside. You can reach up through the window to do it. You don't have to stand in the stall.Trailer loading problems - advice?
Well it sound's like you have ur self a problem?Lol
I had a horse that did that all of a suden he was fine then the next week he will do it.....and had to be hand held..well
my mom was going to sale him it was her horse and I wouldnt let her sale him ..well he go to pull free from the trailer.I let him but when you the them make the lunge away from the trailer
then take him back and tie him again if her does it again lunges his but again make him think well if i go away from the Trailer she is going to work my but..Make him think that is a good place to stay......
Which I am 19 and I still have him and he doesnt offer to do any thing..Cause he no's once he rears or brakes free from the trailer that im am going to make him work...
Yeah if it a new trailer some horse are like um this isnt my trailer it will take some time.
just try bringing the horse around the trailer so he can get used to his surroundings. if he has never been in that trailer it will not have his sent on the trailer and he will not be used to it and not know what it is. you should start working with him right away because it can take a long time for a horse to get used to his surroundings and it will be better if you start right away. that will require patience and a lot of it, its happened to one of my mares before he will enter the trailer at his own pace dont pressure him to go in if he in uncomfortable because that wont do any good. when he seems interested in the trailer give him a tug and see if he will make a effort to take any steps forward. if none of that works contact your trainer to see if it is a physiological problem or a behavorial problem and let me know how it goes.
Have you considered calling your vet, a mare of mine exhibited similar behaviour prior to having an aneurysm (sp) in the brain. And a friends horse reared while being lunged prior to having an aneurysm as well. But hopefully it won't have anything to do with this at all!
On a previous trip, do you think he could have hit his head on the top of the float?
A big mare I owned - we had trouble floating her, before realising she needed a bigger space. She was a terrible rearer as well, for many years - she was the one that died of the aneurysm.
And my hack got an awful fright with a large truck following us one day, he must have hit his head, because he is now hesitant about going in the float, then settles and walks on after running out once.
Could he have had swelling around the brain from his first rear up - and hence been unpredictable at the show?
Or could he have previously had a floating issue and been retrained. This incident may have sparked earlier behaviour?
First I'd call the vet, then a behaviour specialist in horses or someone who you trust that deals with breaking in difficulties etc.
Hard to know - hope I've helped in some way. Wishing you the very best of luck. For persistant pullers they will use a bungy cord to tie to, this often prevents them continuing. Personally, I always used a piece of very fine string for my mare - then if she pulled back, I'd just recatch her a tie her up again (she too would pull a trailer over if given a chance).
There's something about that trailer bothering him. He wouldn't go in, he paniced and hurt himself coming out, he wouldn't stand tied to it... but he calmly loaded and rode home in a different trailer.
Look for wasp's nests. I had this problem once, and finally discovered a wasp nest inside the bars of the partition. There's a tiny hole, just big enough for a wasp, that lets any moisture out. The poor horse was being stung. Some horses will swell up so it's obvious; some don't. I'd look in the end stall that he wouldn't go in, first, otherwise the other horses might have been stung first. It's entirely possible only the horse closest to the nest got stung.
I'd also check the air pressure in the tires. An underinflated tire can make for a very uncomfortable ride.
Was the 2nd trailer another slant load? I don't like them, as too often a large horse just has insufficient room. Some horses don't like to ride slantways (though I know most do!) and others like to be able to see their companions. If the other trailer was a different configuration, he may prefer that.
Were any of the horses in with him mean to him? This is another thing that frequently causes horses to act this way in the trailer, and with a slant load you just can't tell.
I agree it sounds like he had a rough ride the previous trip... was it the same trailer? The same driver? Some drivers go too fast, do jackrabbit starts or slam on the brakes, or go around turns without regard to their passengers in the back. If it's the same trailer, he may be remembering that, and be genuinely afraid.
I'd look for problems in and around the trailer before I decided the horse had a major neurological problem. I've had many horses who hated trailering for these kinds of problems, and a few horses with neurological problems, but NONE of them had both problems at the same time. It's possible, of course, it's just not as likely.
When you hear hoofbeats, don't look for zebras. Good Luck!
Yesterday we went to a horse show and he wouldn't load into the trailer. It was a 4 horse slant load, and he was going in last. We finally unloaded the horse in the 3rd stall and put Wrangler in there and he went in after about 30 seconds of hesitating. But it took us 1-2 minutes to get him to step over to close the divider. I rode with my other horse in a different truck/trailer, but from what I've heard he hauled fine. I also wasn't there when he was unloaded. (My cousin was using him so she was with him) But apparently, they took the other horse out, and as soon as they unlatched the divider he started pulling back and rearing. He got his back feet out and then fell and some one....Trailer loading problems - advice?
Well, my thought on the initial loading problem is that getting into the last stall of a slant can be a little tricky for a horse that doesn't know how to do it when the wasted space tack compartment is in use. They have to go through a narrow space and turn at the same time. He just might not have been able to see or figure out where to go.
My next thought is why, for the love of god, are you unlatching the divider before the horse is untied? That can lead to exactly what happened. He thought he was loose because the divider was open, hit the end of the lead rope, and panicked. Then he hurt his head which panicked him more. And now he sees the trailer as a source of pain.
Its already a tremendous act of trust for a horse to get in a trailer. As prey animals, being confined is very scary for them. As a result, it is very easy for them to panic in there.
BOTH incidents could have been very easily prevented by just untying him first. In the future, untie the horse first and you won't have any problems with his panicking when he hits the end of the lead rope.
Now that these incidents have happened, he may have a fear of loading for some time and it will take some work on your part to work through it. If you can have access to the same or a similar trailer for some training time, you and your horse can practice loading and unloading many times over without the pressure of needing to be somewhere. Take a bucket of feed and spend some time loading and unloading and make it pleasant for him. In order to do this safely, the trailer will need to be hitched up to a tow vehicle to keep it stable. An unhitched trailer can be moved around by the force of a horse stepping in and out.
Good luck.
EDIT - Untie him from outside. You can reach up through the window to do it. You don't have to stand in the stall.Trailer loading problems - advice?
Well it sound's like you have ur self a problem?Lol
I had a horse that did that all of a suden he was fine then the next week he will do it.....and had to be hand held..well
my mom was going to sale him it was her horse and I wouldnt let her sale him ..well he go to pull free from the trailer.I let him but when you the them make the lunge away from the trailer
then take him back and tie him again if her does it again lunges his but again make him think well if i go away from the Trailer she is going to work my but..Make him think that is a good place to stay......
Which I am 19 and I still have him and he doesnt offer to do any thing..Cause he no's once he rears or brakes free from the trailer that im am going to make him work...
Yeah if it a new trailer some horse are like um this isnt my trailer it will take some time.
just try bringing the horse around the trailer so he can get used to his surroundings. if he has never been in that trailer it will not have his sent on the trailer and he will not be used to it and not know what it is. you should start working with him right away because it can take a long time for a horse to get used to his surroundings and it will be better if you start right away. that will require patience and a lot of it, its happened to one of my mares before he will enter the trailer at his own pace dont pressure him to go in if he in uncomfortable because that wont do any good. when he seems interested in the trailer give him a tug and see if he will make a effort to take any steps forward. if none of that works contact your trainer to see if it is a physiological problem or a behavorial problem and let me know how it goes.
Have you considered calling your vet, a mare of mine exhibited similar behaviour prior to having an aneurysm (sp) in the brain. And a friends horse reared while being lunged prior to having an aneurysm as well. But hopefully it won't have anything to do with this at all!
On a previous trip, do you think he could have hit his head on the top of the float?
A big mare I owned - we had trouble floating her, before realising she needed a bigger space. She was a terrible rearer as well, for many years - she was the one that died of the aneurysm.
And my hack got an awful fright with a large truck following us one day, he must have hit his head, because he is now hesitant about going in the float, then settles and walks on after running out once.
Could he have had swelling around the brain from his first rear up - and hence been unpredictable at the show?
Or could he have previously had a floating issue and been retrained. This incident may have sparked earlier behaviour?
First I'd call the vet, then a behaviour specialist in horses or someone who you trust that deals with breaking in difficulties etc.
Hard to know - hope I've helped in some way. Wishing you the very best of luck. For persistant pullers they will use a bungy cord to tie to, this often prevents them continuing. Personally, I always used a piece of very fine string for my mare - then if she pulled back, I'd just recatch her a tie her up again (she too would pull a trailer over if given a chance).
There's something about that trailer bothering him. He wouldn't go in, he paniced and hurt himself coming out, he wouldn't stand tied to it... but he calmly loaded and rode home in a different trailer.
Look for wasp's nests. I had this problem once, and finally discovered a wasp nest inside the bars of the partition. There's a tiny hole, just big enough for a wasp, that lets any moisture out. The poor horse was being stung. Some horses will swell up so it's obvious; some don't. I'd look in the end stall that he wouldn't go in, first, otherwise the other horses might have been stung first. It's entirely possible only the horse closest to the nest got stung.
I'd also check the air pressure in the tires. An underinflated tire can make for a very uncomfortable ride.
Was the 2nd trailer another slant load? I don't like them, as too often a large horse just has insufficient room. Some horses don't like to ride slantways (though I know most do!) and others like to be able to see their companions. If the other trailer was a different configuration, he may prefer that.
Were any of the horses in with him mean to him? This is another thing that frequently causes horses to act this way in the trailer, and with a slant load you just can't tell.
I agree it sounds like he had a rough ride the previous trip... was it the same trailer? The same driver? Some drivers go too fast, do jackrabbit starts or slam on the brakes, or go around turns without regard to their passengers in the back. If it's the same trailer, he may be remembering that, and be genuinely afraid.
I'd look for problems in and around the trailer before I decided the horse had a major neurological problem. I've had many horses who hated trailering for these kinds of problems, and a few horses with neurological problems, but NONE of them had both problems at the same time. It's possible, of course, it's just not as likely.
When you hear hoofbeats, don't look for zebras. Good Luck!
Girlfriend; Weed; Problems - Advice?
okay, im sixteen years old and i am in love; call me crazy but i know i am... I've been going out with this girl for a year and i like everything about her except her marijauna use... She's not like a teen that smokes weed every once in awhile, she smokes it on a daily basis.
I love her to death and i dont want her smoking weed. I've been known to smoke weed before, but i dont let it affect my life; im graduating high school this year at 16 and enlisting in the airforce the day i turn 17 to become a pararescue apprentice and get an education and hopefully stay in for 20+ years and retire early. I consider myself to be a good kid with a great head on my shoulders, but i recently quite smoking weed because i'm turning 17 this august, 2010 (but i never really considered myself a pot smoker in the first place).
Anywayyssss, she lets marijuana affect her daily routine; how shes gunna get money for it, how shes gunna get it, who shes gunna get it from, where shes gunna smoke it. I dont like it at all and like her much better when shes sober.
She told me today that she was blazed and i said ';babe, you shouldnt do that so much :( life isnt about getting high'; - and she said ';actually yes it is; and being with you :)'; and then i said ';well which ones more important?'; and she avoided the question like ';your really gunna make me choose?'; and ';i dont understand why you act like my dad sometimes';
What should i do; i'll accept all suggestions - from things to say, to breaking up with her, to asking her other questions; or anything... thank you....Girlfriend; Weed; Problems - Advice?
I can't tell you what to do, but I can explain some of the choices you face.
First of all, your girlfriend is who she is. She is not going to change just because you ask. If she really changes, it has to be because she wants to. She already knows you don't like her smoking weed, but it is her body and her life, as I am sure she has told you already.
Second, if you are serious about making a career in the Air Force, having a weed user is going to be a real drag. If you wind up together (married), you will probably be living on base, at least a lot of the time. Illegal drugs in your quarters will get you tossed out with a dishonorable discharge, or, worse, get you prosecuted. Don't forget, possession of weed is still a federal crime. You may not take it very seriously, but I can assure you that the è„œir Force does. If you tell them, ';It's not mine, it's hers,'; they will just laugh. If it is in your quarters, you will be responsible for it.
Just as she doesn't want to choose between weed and you, you probably need to choose between her on the one hand, and your entire future life on the other. That's not an easy thing to do, when you love your girl, but I am afraid it is what you are up against.Girlfriend; Weed; Problems - Advice?
you are young. its hard to see it at the time, but i promise you theres 99% chance she isnt the one. you got your whole life ahead of you and plenty more people to meet. not to mention, anybody that would put a drug above you in a relationship needs to get their priorities together.
I love her to death and i dont want her smoking weed. I've been known to smoke weed before, but i dont let it affect my life; im graduating high school this year at 16 and enlisting in the airforce the day i turn 17 to become a pararescue apprentice and get an education and hopefully stay in for 20+ years and retire early. I consider myself to be a good kid with a great head on my shoulders, but i recently quite smoking weed because i'm turning 17 this august, 2010 (but i never really considered myself a pot smoker in the first place).
Anywayyssss, she lets marijuana affect her daily routine; how shes gunna get money for it, how shes gunna get it, who shes gunna get it from, where shes gunna smoke it. I dont like it at all and like her much better when shes sober.
She told me today that she was blazed and i said ';babe, you shouldnt do that so much :( life isnt about getting high'; - and she said ';actually yes it is; and being with you :)'; and then i said ';well which ones more important?'; and she avoided the question like ';your really gunna make me choose?'; and ';i dont understand why you act like my dad sometimes';
What should i do; i'll accept all suggestions - from things to say, to breaking up with her, to asking her other questions; or anything... thank you....Girlfriend; Weed; Problems - Advice?
I can't tell you what to do, but I can explain some of the choices you face.
First of all, your girlfriend is who she is. She is not going to change just because you ask. If she really changes, it has to be because she wants to. She already knows you don't like her smoking weed, but it is her body and her life, as I am sure she has told you already.
Second, if you are serious about making a career in the Air Force, having a weed user is going to be a real drag. If you wind up together (married), you will probably be living on base, at least a lot of the time. Illegal drugs in your quarters will get you tossed out with a dishonorable discharge, or, worse, get you prosecuted. Don't forget, possession of weed is still a federal crime. You may not take it very seriously, but I can assure you that the è„œir Force does. If you tell them, ';It's not mine, it's hers,'; they will just laugh. If it is in your quarters, you will be responsible for it.
Just as she doesn't want to choose between weed and you, you probably need to choose between her on the one hand, and your entire future life on the other. That's not an easy thing to do, when you love your girl, but I am afraid it is what you are up against.Girlfriend; Weed; Problems - Advice?
you are young. its hard to see it at the time, but i promise you theres 99% chance she isnt the one. you got your whole life ahead of you and plenty more people to meet. not to mention, anybody that would put a drug above you in a relationship needs to get their priorities together.
Does anyone have any advice about alcoholics & mental problems & what you can do to help?
I believe my sister is alcoholic. At least if she isn't she does drink far more than is good for her and admits to drinking 2 litres of vodka a day at one point.
The problem isn't so much that she drinks although that is bad enough, it is that she gets absolutely vile when she drinks, sending really nasty emails and texts to us, her family, which are completely unprovoked and unfair. She recently came to stay with me for 5 days, against my better judgement I might add, but I thought well it's only 5 days surely she can manage that without any disasters. Anyway, days 1-4 went really well %26amp; I actually thought I've misjudged her and I shouldn't be so quick to judge. Little did I know that on the 5th day, she'd drink too much, physically attack my 73 year old father over nothing really, knocking both him and herself off their chairs onto the floor, sit there muttering, (you know like crazy people on the tv do?), which I found absolutely so horrendous that I moved my 2 year old from her nursery into my room because I wanted her where I could see her as my sister was behaving like a mad person and I just felt I needed to make sure my daughter was safe.
Next day my sister acted like nothing had happened. She has since kept texting me saying she is sorry she lost the plot etc %26amp; that she doesn't mean it and I know she loves me really. I have replied saying that she needs to get some professional help because she cannot keep on doing this and that it was such a shame she spoilt it because until that last day the week had been really nice.
The other problem is that whatever you do or say is wrong, one day she had nothing to drink at all, and I told her I was very proud of her going for a day without any but instead of taking this in the manner it was intended she said I was being patronising.
Since going home she has also rang me having a go at me, again when she was drunk, saying I was really awful for taking my 2 year old in my room and what kind of person did I think she was that would hurt a 2 year old? I just said well I wouldn't have thought you'd physically attack a 73 year old but you did, you just really need to get some help sis to try and improve your life.
Then today, for no reason at all she has been texting me again, saying I should go to anger management classes because (apparently!) I talk to my father like sh*t, which a) I don't and b) considering she was the one punching him I think is a bit rich.
I just really don't know what to do that could possibly help and am really at my wits end, it'd just be so much easier if I just cut her completely out of my life because whatever any of us try to do or say just ends up being the wrong thing. I also don't see why we should continue to take a barrage of unprovoked verbal attacks every couple of months or so, which is very very upsetting, she seems to think as long as she apologies a few days later that it makes it all ok.
I don't really want anything to do with her but i'd put my dad in a very difficult position so I just really would like to know if anyone has any experience of anything like this and if so any suggestions as to how I might be able to handle it better?
Advice from reformed alcoholics would be most welcome!
Another point is that I'm not even sure it is totally alcohol related, although that quite clearly doesn't help. She just seems to have this anger all bottled up inside her and she doesn't remember things properly at all from when we were growing up, I think she may have some kind of mental problem as well. She seems to always put herself in the position of the person that anything bad has happened to, almost in a way to make people feel sorry for her I think, like one example albeit a very minor example was that she was recently talking about when our dog died and she came home from work and had to ring dad to come home and it was pouring with rain and they were desperately trying to bury the dog before I got home from school so I wouldn't be upset, this was when I was about 11. What actually happened was that it was me that came home from school and found the dog dead and rang dad and were trying to bury him before she got home from work so it was less upsetting for everyone else.
She also goes on about stuff that I supposedly did to her that was awful when I was young, which actually was always her that did it to me. I can't think of any example in particular but she always remembers everything wrong and it is always without fail, her putting herself in the position of the person that has been wronged if you see what I mean?
All sensible advice welcome please.
Thank you for reading this!Does anyone have any advice about alcoholics %26amp; mental problems %26amp; what you can do to help?
One, this is classic alcoholism. Go to any Al-Anon group to learn about all the behavior issues that come from any alcoholic. It can help you learn the tools to putting yourself at a distance. They can talk to you about an intervention. All family members need to stop supporting this person so that they can finally fall full force and start to get help. It's called enabling.
Of course there are good days and bad. You stated ';Against your better judgement';, why did you go against yourself? I know you protected your daughter, but what did you do to help protect your elderly father. I hope you jumped in and told her to get out?? A 73 year old man cannot defend himself. Yet in that inablity to defend himself as he could in his younger years, guilt comes into play. They want it to be ok because they dont' want anyone to see them as inable to defend themselves. Men especially have a hard time with this. But as you know you have to protect your 2 year old, you must also protect your father. Even if it's from himself. Play it off any way you'd like to help him salvage his pride. But defend him!
Normally shouting you'll call the police and have her arrested if she doesn't stop and leave this moment will normally scare her. Don't bring this woman into your home to stay again. Protection of those who cannot fend for themselves is your most important goal right now.
When you get a text, don't read it. Delete it. I don't care if it looks like it will be a nice and loving one saying she's sorry. Delete it. It's more emotional and mental strain. When you get a message on the machine, simply hearing it's from her, delete it. No more. You cannot do this with her anymore.
Does anyone have any advice about alcoholics %26amp; mental problems %26amp; what you can do to help?
Wow, that is a really bad problem, you have my full sympathy. My ex (and the mother of my children) was, and still is, alcoholic. Does your sister admit she has a drink problem? If she does then she needs your help to get her to Alcoholics Anonymous. If she doesn't then there really is not much you can do. I left my ex, and took my children with me for their own safety, and now she is out of our lives completely. I'm not saying that is the right way for you, only you can decide that, but it gave us the chance to live our lives the way we want to. I wish you well in dealing with this, and please email me if you wish to talk about it.
You and your family need to cut her off. Suggest to her that she gets help (Inpatient rehab) Tell her that you and the family have had enough of her verbal abuse and that it is tearing the family apart. Also tell her that her actions for the 5 days proved to you and the family that she is unsafe to be around . If she doesn't want or do the inpatient rehab ..then change your phone numbers and completely cut contact with her. Your family all has to do this and stick by it. (it will be tough) When she Texts you document it in a book the time and the date and what she wrote. Have everyone in your family do this. It's called ';Tough Love';. She needs help her behavior will NOT change. YOU can NOT change your sister! You must come to that realization. As sad as it is. It is a fact! I know how much it hurts to see her that way. Not knowing who she will be for that minute. Never knowing if she will smile at you or lash out and maybe hit you. She is in a dangerous situation. She needs help. Only she can help herself. You could try getting an Interventionist (that is someone from tthe rehab that you choose to come into the home and talk with her about her problem and try to convience her to get help.)
You and your family may want to all seperatly write a letter to her expressing how they feel about her. start it off with positives.. But then talk about how she acts when drunk and how it makes you feel. And at the end express to her how you want your sister back and how much you love her and how musch you will try to do anything in your power to help her change. But the first step has to be hers. She has to commit!
I wish you and your entire family the best. Living with a memeber of the family that is an alcoholic can be mind draining. I would also seek help for your entire family to get some piece of mind on this issue
Best thing is to convince her to attend a deaddiction clinic which is the only thing that can help her now.From the picture it seems that she is an alcoholic and has behavioral problems when drunk.She has to refrain from alcohol without causing withdrawal symptoms.so hospitalization and treatment would be ideal for her.But she has to do it willingly or she can come back to square one any time.pores
The problem isn't so much that she drinks although that is bad enough, it is that she gets absolutely vile when she drinks, sending really nasty emails and texts to us, her family, which are completely unprovoked and unfair. She recently came to stay with me for 5 days, against my better judgement I might add, but I thought well it's only 5 days surely she can manage that without any disasters. Anyway, days 1-4 went really well %26amp; I actually thought I've misjudged her and I shouldn't be so quick to judge. Little did I know that on the 5th day, she'd drink too much, physically attack my 73 year old father over nothing really, knocking both him and herself off their chairs onto the floor, sit there muttering, (you know like crazy people on the tv do?), which I found absolutely so horrendous that I moved my 2 year old from her nursery into my room because I wanted her where I could see her as my sister was behaving like a mad person and I just felt I needed to make sure my daughter was safe.
Next day my sister acted like nothing had happened. She has since kept texting me saying she is sorry she lost the plot etc %26amp; that she doesn't mean it and I know she loves me really. I have replied saying that she needs to get some professional help because she cannot keep on doing this and that it was such a shame she spoilt it because until that last day the week had been really nice.
The other problem is that whatever you do or say is wrong, one day she had nothing to drink at all, and I told her I was very proud of her going for a day without any but instead of taking this in the manner it was intended she said I was being patronising.
Since going home she has also rang me having a go at me, again when she was drunk, saying I was really awful for taking my 2 year old in my room and what kind of person did I think she was that would hurt a 2 year old? I just said well I wouldn't have thought you'd physically attack a 73 year old but you did, you just really need to get some help sis to try and improve your life.
Then today, for no reason at all she has been texting me again, saying I should go to anger management classes because (apparently!) I talk to my father like sh*t, which a) I don't and b) considering she was the one punching him I think is a bit rich.
I just really don't know what to do that could possibly help and am really at my wits end, it'd just be so much easier if I just cut her completely out of my life because whatever any of us try to do or say just ends up being the wrong thing. I also don't see why we should continue to take a barrage of unprovoked verbal attacks every couple of months or so, which is very very upsetting, she seems to think as long as she apologies a few days later that it makes it all ok.
I don't really want anything to do with her but i'd put my dad in a very difficult position so I just really would like to know if anyone has any experience of anything like this and if so any suggestions as to how I might be able to handle it better?
Advice from reformed alcoholics would be most welcome!
Another point is that I'm not even sure it is totally alcohol related, although that quite clearly doesn't help. She just seems to have this anger all bottled up inside her and she doesn't remember things properly at all from when we were growing up, I think she may have some kind of mental problem as well. She seems to always put herself in the position of the person that anything bad has happened to, almost in a way to make people feel sorry for her I think, like one example albeit a very minor example was that she was recently talking about when our dog died and she came home from work and had to ring dad to come home and it was pouring with rain and they were desperately trying to bury the dog before I got home from school so I wouldn't be upset, this was when I was about 11. What actually happened was that it was me that came home from school and found the dog dead and rang dad and were trying to bury him before she got home from work so it was less upsetting for everyone else.
She also goes on about stuff that I supposedly did to her that was awful when I was young, which actually was always her that did it to me. I can't think of any example in particular but she always remembers everything wrong and it is always without fail, her putting herself in the position of the person that has been wronged if you see what I mean?
All sensible advice welcome please.
Thank you for reading this!Does anyone have any advice about alcoholics %26amp; mental problems %26amp; what you can do to help?
One, this is classic alcoholism. Go to any Al-Anon group to learn about all the behavior issues that come from any alcoholic. It can help you learn the tools to putting yourself at a distance. They can talk to you about an intervention. All family members need to stop supporting this person so that they can finally fall full force and start to get help. It's called enabling.
Of course there are good days and bad. You stated ';Against your better judgement';, why did you go against yourself? I know you protected your daughter, but what did you do to help protect your elderly father. I hope you jumped in and told her to get out?? A 73 year old man cannot defend himself. Yet in that inablity to defend himself as he could in his younger years, guilt comes into play. They want it to be ok because they dont' want anyone to see them as inable to defend themselves. Men especially have a hard time with this. But as you know you have to protect your 2 year old, you must also protect your father. Even if it's from himself. Play it off any way you'd like to help him salvage his pride. But defend him!
Normally shouting you'll call the police and have her arrested if she doesn't stop and leave this moment will normally scare her. Don't bring this woman into your home to stay again. Protection of those who cannot fend for themselves is your most important goal right now.
When you get a text, don't read it. Delete it. I don't care if it looks like it will be a nice and loving one saying she's sorry. Delete it. It's more emotional and mental strain. When you get a message on the machine, simply hearing it's from her, delete it. No more. You cannot do this with her anymore.
Does anyone have any advice about alcoholics %26amp; mental problems %26amp; what you can do to help?
Wow, that is a really bad problem, you have my full sympathy. My ex (and the mother of my children) was, and still is, alcoholic. Does your sister admit she has a drink problem? If she does then she needs your help to get her to Alcoholics Anonymous. If she doesn't then there really is not much you can do. I left my ex, and took my children with me for their own safety, and now she is out of our lives completely. I'm not saying that is the right way for you, only you can decide that, but it gave us the chance to live our lives the way we want to. I wish you well in dealing with this, and please email me if you wish to talk about it.
You and your family need to cut her off. Suggest to her that she gets help (Inpatient rehab) Tell her that you and the family have had enough of her verbal abuse and that it is tearing the family apart. Also tell her that her actions for the 5 days proved to you and the family that she is unsafe to be around . If she doesn't want or do the inpatient rehab ..then change your phone numbers and completely cut contact with her. Your family all has to do this and stick by it. (it will be tough) When she Texts you document it in a book the time and the date and what she wrote. Have everyone in your family do this. It's called ';Tough Love';. She needs help her behavior will NOT change. YOU can NOT change your sister! You must come to that realization. As sad as it is. It is a fact! I know how much it hurts to see her that way. Not knowing who she will be for that minute. Never knowing if she will smile at you or lash out and maybe hit you. She is in a dangerous situation. She needs help. Only she can help herself. You could try getting an Interventionist (that is someone from tthe rehab that you choose to come into the home and talk with her about her problem and try to convience her to get help.)
You and your family may want to all seperatly write a letter to her expressing how they feel about her. start it off with positives.. But then talk about how she acts when drunk and how it makes you feel. And at the end express to her how you want your sister back and how much you love her and how musch you will try to do anything in your power to help her change. But the first step has to be hers. She has to commit!
I wish you and your entire family the best. Living with a memeber of the family that is an alcoholic can be mind draining. I would also seek help for your entire family to get some piece of mind on this issue
Best thing is to convince her to attend a deaddiction clinic which is the only thing that can help her now.From the picture it seems that she is an alcoholic and has behavioral problems when drunk.She has to refrain from alcohol without causing withdrawal symptoms.so hospitalization and treatment would be ideal for her.But she has to do it willingly or she can come back to square one any time.
GF. Sex problems. Advice appreciated?
Hello all. I love my GF. Sex is a problem between us though. We have sex maybe twice per week - i would like i more often and would like her to be more adventurous. Also I know that maybe twice or more times per week she masturbates and watches porn (sometimes gay porn), Im not sure what it all means. Is it normal for women in relationships to masturbate? Am i right to be upset over it. We talk about a long term future - she more than me - marriage etc - does this relationship sound like it will work. Advice appreciated. WGF. Sex problems. Advice appreciated?
It sounds like your girlfriend is more openminded that you thought!
Good catch!
I think you should take advantage of this side of your gf and try being a bit more adventurous with sex, maybe like role playing, or taking more of a ';porn view.'; If she resorts to looking at porn and masturbating to it, I think she's a bit disatisfied with the love life. Maybe you can renew that luster with doing creative stuff that she'll like.!
This relationship sounds like it could work if you tweaked it a bit... and changed things for the better.
I think it's perfectly healthy for people in relationships to masturbate.
Both partners aren't always going to be around for sex, or be in the mood for it :DGF. Sex problems. Advice appreciated?
i think you need to dig a little deeper into her turn ons and maybe even go to sex counseling...do you rember ';dr. ruth';
i love questions that i know the answer to but lets start off with if you want more than twice a week you need to lead her on make her feel good lol :)
If she does masturbate its normal to watch gay porn whil edoing it its like you watching two girls at the same tiem it just gives her a great feeling.
And its noraml for girls in or out of relationships to masturbate because guys do it so girls should have that right too!
It seems to me that this relationship would work because you guys love each other enough to do it twice a week !!!
but yeah hop ethis helps
Kinky chick!
Maybe you could spend a little more time for her, and a little less for you, it could increase her need for you
Masturbation is normal
It sounds like your girlfriend is more openminded that you thought!
Good catch!
I think you should take advantage of this side of your gf and try being a bit more adventurous with sex, maybe like role playing, or taking more of a ';porn view.'; If she resorts to looking at porn and masturbating to it, I think she's a bit disatisfied with the love life. Maybe you can renew that luster with doing creative stuff that she'll like.!
This relationship sounds like it could work if you tweaked it a bit... and changed things for the better.
I think it's perfectly healthy for people in relationships to masturbate.
Both partners aren't always going to be around for sex, or be in the mood for it :DGF. Sex problems. Advice appreciated?
i think you need to dig a little deeper into her turn ons and maybe even go to sex counseling...do you rember ';dr. ruth';
i love questions that i know the answer to but lets start off with if you want more than twice a week you need to lead her on make her feel good lol :)
If she does masturbate its normal to watch gay porn whil edoing it its like you watching two girls at the same tiem it just gives her a great feeling.
And its noraml for girls in or out of relationships to masturbate because guys do it so girls should have that right too!
It seems to me that this relationship would work because you guys love each other enough to do it twice a week !!!
but yeah hop ethis helps
Kinky chick!
Maybe you could spend a little more time for her, and a little less for you, it could increase her need for you
Masturbation is normal
Ongoing heart problems. Advice please??
I have been diagnosed with inappropriate sinus tachycardia, which until recently I was kept stable(ish) on Ivabradine 5mg twice daily. This seem to have reduced efficiency so I was increased to 5mg three times a day. I just don't feel right on this dose. My heart rate seems fine but I seem tight chested with occasional chest pains. I go dizzy more easily and sometimes experience the feeling that my heart skips a beat and i go dizzy occasionally pass out and when I do come to it feels as though my heart is gonna pop out of my chest and Iam flushed.
I have seen my GP who has limited knowledge of my condition so he wrote to my consultant. I now have an appointment (brought forward) from my original appointment in december.
If anyone out there has knowledge of this drug or even this condition, or anyone who has experi enced these symptoms. Am I worrying myself unneccessarily. I dont want to take vital care from somebody else but at the same time I feel unable to continue.Ongoing heart problems. Advice please??
Ivabradine is a new-ish drug used for fast heart rhythms. The total dose you take is the usual one however usually in 2 doses rather than divided into three- sounds like your GP is being careful not to give you a bigger dose than your body can cope with.
Have your blood pressure checked asap and make sure its checked both when lying down and then on standing. If your BP falls when you get up then this is likely to be a side effect of the medication and so this is easily remedied by a change of meds. There are many meds that can control an inappropriate sinus tachycardia.
If your blood pressure shows no change then insist that you are seen sooner as this could be a more serious type of tachycardia and should be investigated as a matter of urgency. If you have trouble getting seen, please present at accident and emergency the next time symptoms occur- even if it's just to put your mind at rest. Be assured that you won't be wasting anybody's time- you'll be kicked out pretty quickly if nothings wrong but at least you would get to see a cardiologist.Ongoing heart problems. Advice please??
please go to your docs and get a quicker referral
los
x
I have irregular heart beat I have atrial fibrillation, my pulse varies left and right. I take drugs to keep near enough.
It can serious obviously but is treatable and causes me no problems, the drugs I take are antenolol and digoxin as well as Lisinoprol to control my blood pressure.
If your chest feels like there is a belt being tightened around it dial 999 and get an ambulance better to be safe than sorry
I know that this isn't that helpful but you are going to have to wait until the consultant gets to the bottom of it and in the meantime find someway of taking your mind off things, I would strongly suggest that you carry a card in your wallet to let others/first aiders know that you are currently having heart complaints and are taking the ivabradine. Worrying will cause stress and even add to the problem. (Tachycardia is where the heart beats irregularly in your case caused by the sino-atrial node.)
Take care
Hopefully the ';consultant'; is an Electrophysiologist (a cardiologist who specializes in heart rhythm). In the meantime, find more information at the Heart Rhythm Society webpage. If you are actually passing out with this, you shouldn't wait until December.
You could have a read here
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Inappropria鈥?/a>
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ivabradine
I have seen my GP who has limited knowledge of my condition so he wrote to my consultant. I now have an appointment (brought forward) from my original appointment in december.
If anyone out there has knowledge of this drug or even this condition, or anyone who has experi enced these symptoms. Am I worrying myself unneccessarily. I dont want to take vital care from somebody else but at the same time I feel unable to continue.Ongoing heart problems. Advice please??
Ivabradine is a new-ish drug used for fast heart rhythms. The total dose you take is the usual one however usually in 2 doses rather than divided into three- sounds like your GP is being careful not to give you a bigger dose than your body can cope with.
Have your blood pressure checked asap and make sure its checked both when lying down and then on standing. If your BP falls when you get up then this is likely to be a side effect of the medication and so this is easily remedied by a change of meds. There are many meds that can control an inappropriate sinus tachycardia.
If your blood pressure shows no change then insist that you are seen sooner as this could be a more serious type of tachycardia and should be investigated as a matter of urgency. If you have trouble getting seen, please present at accident and emergency the next time symptoms occur- even if it's just to put your mind at rest. Be assured that you won't be wasting anybody's time- you'll be kicked out pretty quickly if nothings wrong but at least you would get to see a cardiologist.Ongoing heart problems. Advice please??
please go to your docs and get a quicker referral
los
x
I have irregular heart beat I have atrial fibrillation, my pulse varies left and right. I take drugs to keep near enough.
It can serious obviously but is treatable and causes me no problems, the drugs I take are antenolol and digoxin as well as Lisinoprol to control my blood pressure.
If your chest feels like there is a belt being tightened around it dial 999 and get an ambulance better to be safe than sorry
I know that this isn't that helpful but you are going to have to wait until the consultant gets to the bottom of it and in the meantime find someway of taking your mind off things, I would strongly suggest that you carry a card in your wallet to let others/first aiders know that you are currently having heart complaints and are taking the ivabradine. Worrying will cause stress and even add to the problem. (Tachycardia is where the heart beats irregularly in your case caused by the sino-atrial node.)
Take care
Hopefully the ';consultant'; is an Electrophysiologist (a cardiologist who specializes in heart rhythm). In the meantime, find more information at the Heart Rhythm Society webpage. If you are actually passing out with this, you shouldn't wait until December.
You could have a read here
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Inappropria鈥?/a>
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ivabradine
Ongoing heart problems. Advice please??
I have been diagnosed with inappropriate sinus tachycardia, which until recently I was kept stable(ish) on Ivabradine 5mg twice daily. This seem to have reduced efficiency so I was increased to 5mg three times a day. I just don't feel right on this dose. My heart rate seems fine but I seem tight chested with occasional chest pains. I go dizzy more easily and sometimes experience the feeling that my heart skips a beat and i go dizzy occasionally pass out and when I do come to it feels as though my heart is gonna pop out of my chest and Iam flushed.
I have seen my GP who has limited knowledge of my condition so he wrote to my consultant. I now have an appointment (brought forward) from my original appointment in december.
If anyone out there has knowledge of this drug or even this condition, or anyone who has experi enced these symptoms. Am I worrying myself unneccessarily. I dont want to take vital care from somebody else but at the same time I feel unable to continue.Ongoing heart problems. Advice please??
Ivabradine is a new-ish drug used for fast heart rhythms. The total dose you take is the usual one however usually in 2 doses rather than divided into three- sounds like your GP is being careful not to give you a bigger dose than your body can cope with.
Have your blood pressure checked asap and make sure its checked both when lying down and then on standing. If your BP falls when you get up then this is likely to be a side effect of the medication and so this is easily remedied by a change of meds. There are many meds that can control an inappropriate sinus tachycardia.
If your blood pressure shows no change then insist that you are seen sooner as this could be a more serious type of tachycardia and should be investigated as a matter of urgency. If you have trouble getting seen, please present at accident and emergency the next time symptoms occur- even if it's just to put your mind at rest. Be assured that you won't be wasting anybody's time- you'll be kicked out pretty quickly if nothings wrong but at least you would get to see a cardiologist.Ongoing heart problems. Advice please??
please go to your docs and get a quicker referral
los
x
I have irregular heart beat I have atrial fibrillation, my pulse varies left and right. I take drugs to keep near enough.
It can serious obviously but is treatable and causes me no problems, the drugs I take are antenolol and digoxin as well as Lisinoprol to control my blood pressure.
If your chest feels like there is a belt being tightened around it dial 999 and get an ambulance better to be safe than sorry
I know that this isn't that helpful but you are going to have to wait until the consultant gets to the bottom of it and in the meantime find someway of taking your mind off things, I would strongly suggest that you carry a card in your wallet to let others/first aiders know that you are currently having heart complaints and are taking the ivabradine. Worrying will cause stress and even add to the problem. (Tachycardia is where the heart beats irregularly in your case caused by the sino-atrial node.)
Take care
Hopefully the ';consultant'; is an Electrophysiologist (a cardiologist who specializes in heart rhythm). In the meantime, find more information at the Heart Rhythm Society webpage. If you are actually passing out with this, you shouldn't wait until December.
You could have a read here
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Inappropria鈥?/a>
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ivabradine
I have seen my GP who has limited knowledge of my condition so he wrote to my consultant. I now have an appointment (brought forward) from my original appointment in december.
If anyone out there has knowledge of this drug or even this condition, or anyone who has experi enced these symptoms. Am I worrying myself unneccessarily. I dont want to take vital care from somebody else but at the same time I feel unable to continue.Ongoing heart problems. Advice please??
Ivabradine is a new-ish drug used for fast heart rhythms. The total dose you take is the usual one however usually in 2 doses rather than divided into three- sounds like your GP is being careful not to give you a bigger dose than your body can cope with.
Have your blood pressure checked asap and make sure its checked both when lying down and then on standing. If your BP falls when you get up then this is likely to be a side effect of the medication and so this is easily remedied by a change of meds. There are many meds that can control an inappropriate sinus tachycardia.
If your blood pressure shows no change then insist that you are seen sooner as this could be a more serious type of tachycardia and should be investigated as a matter of urgency. If you have trouble getting seen, please present at accident and emergency the next time symptoms occur- even if it's just to put your mind at rest. Be assured that you won't be wasting anybody's time- you'll be kicked out pretty quickly if nothings wrong but at least you would get to see a cardiologist.Ongoing heart problems. Advice please??
please go to your docs and get a quicker referral
los
x
I have irregular heart beat I have atrial fibrillation, my pulse varies left and right. I take drugs to keep near enough.
It can serious obviously but is treatable and causes me no problems, the drugs I take are antenolol and digoxin as well as Lisinoprol to control my blood pressure.
If your chest feels like there is a belt being tightened around it dial 999 and get an ambulance better to be safe than sorry
I know that this isn't that helpful but you are going to have to wait until the consultant gets to the bottom of it and in the meantime find someway of taking your mind off things, I would strongly suggest that you carry a card in your wallet to let others/first aiders know that you are currently having heart complaints and are taking the ivabradine. Worrying will cause stress and even add to the problem. (Tachycardia is where the heart beats irregularly in your case caused by the sino-atrial node.)
Take care
Hopefully the ';consultant'; is an Electrophysiologist (a cardiologist who specializes in heart rhythm). In the meantime, find more information at the Heart Rhythm Society webpage. If you are actually passing out with this, you shouldn't wait until December.
You could have a read here
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Inappropria鈥?/a>
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ivabradine
Prom Limo Problems! Advice?!?!?
So Prom is in about 2 weeks. I have a date and everything. But I found out that last week my group got a limo and didn't include me in it. I was shocked when i found out. So I pretty much am ignoring my group. I got my own limo. I'm really upset because i was looking forward to taking nice prom pictures in front of a long stretch limo with all of us( like 14 people.) What do you guys think? They said we could still come by the house for prom pics, but i dont think i should give in that easily. They pretty much kicked me to the curb. What do you guys think i should do??!! Any advice would be very much appreciated! :)Prom Limo Problems! Advice?!?!?
ai.......selamat pagiProm Limo Problems! Advice?!?!?
dont take pictures with them. if they dont want you to be in a limo with them they are trying to send you a message. dont be a softie. dont fight back, just play their game and dont include them.
Wow, how rude, I can't believe they did that.
First, you should have rented a really really nice car instead of a limo, if it's just you and your date. How cool would that have been for yall to roll up in a rolls royce or I dunno some kind of exclusive car, with you two in it.
Second, it's like a pity thing how they invited you for pics, but not for the limo ride. WTF. I wouldn't even go over there. I hope none of those people were supposedly your good friends, cause if they were, dump them.
Remember, your about to be in college with a whole new pool of friends to pick from.
So i mean if you really want to look back at the pics and have a bad memory of how everyone left you out the limo for prom, then go.
If not, I say just take pics with your date, go to prom together and have fun.
I Hope you enjoy yourself, it's the last school dance of your life so make the memories happy ones.
HAVE FUN AT YOUR PROM :)
ai.......selamat pagiProm Limo Problems! Advice?!?!?
dont take pictures with them. if they dont want you to be in a limo with them they are trying to send you a message. dont be a softie. dont fight back, just play their game and dont include them.
Wow, how rude, I can't believe they did that.
First, you should have rented a really really nice car instead of a limo, if it's just you and your date. How cool would that have been for yall to roll up in a rolls royce or I dunno some kind of exclusive car, with you two in it.
Second, it's like a pity thing how they invited you for pics, but not for the limo ride. WTF. I wouldn't even go over there. I hope none of those people were supposedly your good friends, cause if they were, dump them.
Remember, your about to be in college with a whole new pool of friends to pick from.
So i mean if you really want to look back at the pics and have a bad memory of how everyone left you out the limo for prom, then go.
If not, I say just take pics with your date, go to prom together and have fun.
I Hope you enjoy yourself, it's the last school dance of your life so make the memories happy ones.
HAVE FUN AT YOUR PROM :)
Teenager girl problems. advice?
alrite so theres this girl. she is beautiful beyond measure. like you guys wouldn't even believe. me and her have been talking alot, and we really hit things off. she is sometimes very nice, and other times i just need to stop talking to her and sit and think, cause she pisses me off so much. we had a VERY intement time at the park the other day and it was great.what pisses me off about her is sometimes she just acts like she doesnt give a ****. i want to ask her out but i dont know if it'll work. shes way to beautiful to pass up. and sometimes i just want her for her ';stuff';. hahah. i dont help me out. is she worth it???
FOR FELLOW MEN. THIS GIRL HAS AN AMAZING *** AND PAIR OF BONGS. beautiful eyes beautiful lips beautiful everything.(yes she likes me to)Teenager girl problems. advice?
Wow, you only like her for her looks. That really is shallow, and if she pissed you off that much, i really think might not work. Dont used too.Teenager girl problems. advice?
Well, she might just act like she doesn't give a **** sometimes because she wants to play hard to get. If you really like her, I would say try asking her out. But do you only like her because of her looks?
talk to her about how she pisses you off, maybe she doesn't realize she is doing it. But jumping into a relationship with someone just b/c she is pretty or w/e is ALWAYS a bad idea.
Know who the father is before messing around with the daughter.
You sound extremely shallow right now, you have no idea.
sounds like your just in it for the looks. i personally, can't be with someone who makes me mad.
FOR FELLOW MEN. THIS GIRL HAS AN AMAZING *** AND PAIR OF BONGS. beautiful eyes beautiful lips beautiful everything.(yes she likes me to)Teenager girl problems. advice?
Wow, you only like her for her looks. That really is shallow, and if she pissed you off that much, i really think might not work. Dont used too.Teenager girl problems. advice?
Well, she might just act like she doesn't give a **** sometimes because she wants to play hard to get. If you really like her, I would say try asking her out. But do you only like her because of her looks?
talk to her about how she pisses you off, maybe she doesn't realize she is doing it. But jumping into a relationship with someone just b/c she is pretty or w/e is ALWAYS a bad idea.
Know who the father is before messing around with the daughter.
You sound extremely shallow right now, you have no idea.
sounds like your just in it for the looks. i personally, can't be with someone who makes me mad.
What possible problems/advice can be given when (2) or more languages are spoken at home for a toddler?
My wife and I are living in the U.S., she is from Brasil, and me I am from the U.S. Our son was born in Brasil, and lived there until he was 1 years old. My son is now 2.5 years old, attending daycare full-time; understanding what is said to him in Portuguese and English, BUT not yet able to communicate in complete sentences in either English or Portuguese, only words of both languages. Lately, he has been having “serious” tantrums (realizing the terrible 2’s). My question is this: Are his severe outbreaks of anger, frustration in trying to communicate? If yes, what can be done to help him? Are there specialists that can aid parents that are bilingual raising a toddler adapt better to communicating?
Any advice for raising a child in a (2) language home? Is it better for one parent to speak one language and the other parent in the other language? Are there any resources online from Doctors and such to read up on this topic? How we can be sure we are teaching our child properly and not hindering is communication skills by speaking two different languages at home?What possible problems/advice can be given when (2) or more languages are spoken at home for a toddler?
I'm almost certain it has nothing to do with the language difference. He is a bit young to form complete sentences. Be patient.
Children at the age are great sponges. They will absorb anything put in front of them. So don't halt the two languages - quite on the contrary keep going at it.
I speak Spanish and English fluently with no mixtures- and i don't remember learning either language. My parents would speak Spanish to me, yet at school daycares i was spoken to in english.
Don't skimp on the languages - keeping feeding both languages to him!! He'll be fine.
I have a colleague who's got a 2 year old nephew - his father is Korean, mother Peruvian and they live in America - the kids utters all sorts of words in all three languages!
Don't read into things - he's growing and developing!What possible problems/advice can be given when (2) or more languages are spoken at home for a toddler?
I had the same problem, my sons grandparents speak spanish and I mainly spoke in english my son had to receive speech therapy because it took him long to be able to say full sentences.He is now 7 years old and speaks english good but does not speak spanish he gets frustrated when he tries to speak to his grandparents in spanish but can not.My advise to you is to try to speak to your son in one language until he gets it good and then just try teaching him the second language later.
Children raised in bilingual settings tend to talk a bit later, but once they DO start to talk, they are fully fluent in both languages.
As long as he's understanding what YOU say, and probably saying a few words in each language, he's fine, and you dont' need to change anything. Quite the contrary -- you are giving a gift that will serve him well.
His tantrums are 'normal'. Even mono-lingual 2's aren't yet able to always communicate EVERYTHING they want to say.
(I used to work at a preschool where most kids were bilingual, and a few were trilingual.)pores
Any advice for raising a child in a (2) language home? Is it better for one parent to speak one language and the other parent in the other language? Are there any resources online from Doctors and such to read up on this topic? How we can be sure we are teaching our child properly and not hindering is communication skills by speaking two different languages at home?What possible problems/advice can be given when (2) or more languages are spoken at home for a toddler?
I'm almost certain it has nothing to do with the language difference. He is a bit young to form complete sentences. Be patient.
Children at the age are great sponges. They will absorb anything put in front of them. So don't halt the two languages - quite on the contrary keep going at it.
I speak Spanish and English fluently with no mixtures- and i don't remember learning either language. My parents would speak Spanish to me, yet at school daycares i was spoken to in english.
Don't skimp on the languages - keeping feeding both languages to him!! He'll be fine.
I have a colleague who's got a 2 year old nephew - his father is Korean, mother Peruvian and they live in America - the kids utters all sorts of words in all three languages!
Don't read into things - he's growing and developing!What possible problems/advice can be given when (2) or more languages are spoken at home for a toddler?
I had the same problem, my sons grandparents speak spanish and I mainly spoke in english my son had to receive speech therapy because it took him long to be able to say full sentences.He is now 7 years old and speaks english good but does not speak spanish he gets frustrated when he tries to speak to his grandparents in spanish but can not.My advise to you is to try to speak to your son in one language until he gets it good and then just try teaching him the second language later.
Children raised in bilingual settings tend to talk a bit later, but once they DO start to talk, they are fully fluent in both languages.
As long as he's understanding what YOU say, and probably saying a few words in each language, he's fine, and you dont' need to change anything. Quite the contrary -- you are giving a gift that will serve him well.
His tantrums are 'normal'. Even mono-lingual 2's aren't yet able to always communicate EVERYTHING they want to say.
(I used to work at a preschool where most kids were bilingual, and a few were trilingual.)
Chihuahua leg problems (advice???)?
just wanted to see if i could get any information from any other chihuahua dog owners on this board.
as some of you may know, chihuahua's are notorious for having leg, hips and knee problems since their bones are so tiny and brittle.
last summer, i went to let my chihuahua out the front door for a walk. it had been raining earlier so the ground was wet. when he got outside, he noticed another dog on the street and immediately ran to the front gate. however, when he touched the grass coming off the deck he slipped and did a bit of a tumble.
he cried for a few seconds, looked up and then proceeded to play in the front yard. i brought him inside right away and touched his knees and he seemed to be fine.
about 5 days later, i noticed that he started to limp on his left leg. (the leg he took a tumble on.) i immediately made a call to the vet and took him in to get looked at.
the first thing the vet did during the exam was reach around and touch his kneecap. as soon as the dog felt the hand get near that area, he let out a low growl.
the vet said that the knee cap most likely had slipped out of place and that's why the dog was limping from time to time. he said he could put it back into place, and with a slight touch on the kneecap he said ';ok, it's back in place.';
he said this injury is extremely common in smaller dogs and he sees it all the time. he recommended that the dog have surgery to fix it, since if it wasn't fixed it could end up causing arthritis for the dog. however, the surgery would've been anywhere from $1200 upwards.
fast forward 6 months later. (2009)
i continued to walk my dog ever since he took his tumble, and from time to time he will lift his back leg. however, this only happens for a few seconds and then he walks normal again. (this is most likely due to the knee cap simply going back into place.)
he never cries. he is happy and playful and runs and is very active. none of that has changed.
so my question is; do i get the surgery done or do i just continue to monitor this?
i obviously don't have the $1200 + to pay for any surgery as of now. and again, he seems fine and doesn't limp that often. when he does limp, it is literally for a few seconds and then he puts his leg down. and it doesnt even happen too often.
thoughts?Chihuahua leg problems (advice???)?
My Keeshond has this problem, and it's quite common in smaller breeds of dog. Generally, surgery is only recommended when the kneecap is luxated permanently, or the joint itself is stiff and immobile. So long as your dog is not in pain, the bone will move back into place quickly by itself - this is why your dog hops a couple of steps then walks normally again.
You may need to consider surgery later in life, or if it starts causing problems for your dog, but since the surgery itself can cause problems with arthritis and mobility, most vets will wait until the risks are worth it, before performing this operation. My dog is at about the same stage as yours, and my vet has advised against surgery at this stage as he believes it would cause more problems than it would fix.Chihuahua leg problems (advice???)?
the surgery itself can cause arthritis. my pom has the same issue. as long as your dog is not constantly lame and is not in constant pain, i would not do surgery. you can put your dog on a glucosamine supplement to help with joint support.
If your dog isn't in obvious pain I suggest you monitor him. I think what I would do is start saving up the money for future intervention / surgery. But mean while just monitor your dog and make sure he isn't in pain. You could try things like massage or T-Touch therapy on him yourself, whilst you are saving up. I bet you wish you have taken out pet insurance now! Hindsight is a marvellous thing!
Your Chi probably has Patellar Luxation - The kneecap slips out of place, Dog lifts it's leg %26amp; it snaps back into place...BUT If you don't get the surgery, your chi will eventually get horrible arthritis in that leg....I would start saving for the surgery so your doggie doen't suffer....
I wouldn't do the surgery at this time.
I have a friend that has a small breed dog (although not a chihuahua) and had this very thing happen. He decided to go with the vets and went with the surgery. His dog STILL has the same problem. The vets now want to do a second surgery. They are going to wait until they see if its an ongoing problem or if it is just rarely that this happens. I would suggest you do the same. The surgery they had was cheaper than that they found a vet for $800 so be sure to shop around if you do decide to go ahead with it.
as some of you may know, chihuahua's are notorious for having leg, hips and knee problems since their bones are so tiny and brittle.
last summer, i went to let my chihuahua out the front door for a walk. it had been raining earlier so the ground was wet. when he got outside, he noticed another dog on the street and immediately ran to the front gate. however, when he touched the grass coming off the deck he slipped and did a bit of a tumble.
he cried for a few seconds, looked up and then proceeded to play in the front yard. i brought him inside right away and touched his knees and he seemed to be fine.
about 5 days later, i noticed that he started to limp on his left leg. (the leg he took a tumble on.) i immediately made a call to the vet and took him in to get looked at.
the first thing the vet did during the exam was reach around and touch his kneecap. as soon as the dog felt the hand get near that area, he let out a low growl.
the vet said that the knee cap most likely had slipped out of place and that's why the dog was limping from time to time. he said he could put it back into place, and with a slight touch on the kneecap he said ';ok, it's back in place.';
he said this injury is extremely common in smaller dogs and he sees it all the time. he recommended that the dog have surgery to fix it, since if it wasn't fixed it could end up causing arthritis for the dog. however, the surgery would've been anywhere from $1200 upwards.
fast forward 6 months later. (2009)
i continued to walk my dog ever since he took his tumble, and from time to time he will lift his back leg. however, this only happens for a few seconds and then he walks normal again. (this is most likely due to the knee cap simply going back into place.)
he never cries. he is happy and playful and runs and is very active. none of that has changed.
so my question is; do i get the surgery done or do i just continue to monitor this?
i obviously don't have the $1200 + to pay for any surgery as of now. and again, he seems fine and doesn't limp that often. when he does limp, it is literally for a few seconds and then he puts his leg down. and it doesnt even happen too often.
thoughts?Chihuahua leg problems (advice???)?
My Keeshond has this problem, and it's quite common in smaller breeds of dog. Generally, surgery is only recommended when the kneecap is luxated permanently, or the joint itself is stiff and immobile. So long as your dog is not in pain, the bone will move back into place quickly by itself - this is why your dog hops a couple of steps then walks normally again.
You may need to consider surgery later in life, or if it starts causing problems for your dog, but since the surgery itself can cause problems with arthritis and mobility, most vets will wait until the risks are worth it, before performing this operation. My dog is at about the same stage as yours, and my vet has advised against surgery at this stage as he believes it would cause more problems than it would fix.Chihuahua leg problems (advice???)?
the surgery itself can cause arthritis. my pom has the same issue. as long as your dog is not constantly lame and is not in constant pain, i would not do surgery. you can put your dog on a glucosamine supplement to help with joint support.
If your dog isn't in obvious pain I suggest you monitor him. I think what I would do is start saving up the money for future intervention / surgery. But mean while just monitor your dog and make sure he isn't in pain. You could try things like massage or T-Touch therapy on him yourself, whilst you are saving up. I bet you wish you have taken out pet insurance now! Hindsight is a marvellous thing!
Your Chi probably has Patellar Luxation - The kneecap slips out of place, Dog lifts it's leg %26amp; it snaps back into place...BUT If you don't get the surgery, your chi will eventually get horrible arthritis in that leg....I would start saving for the surgery so your doggie doen't suffer....
I wouldn't do the surgery at this time.
I have a friend that has a small breed dog (although not a chihuahua) and had this very thing happen. He decided to go with the vets and went with the surgery. His dog STILL has the same problem. The vets now want to do a second surgery. They are going to wait until they see if its an ongoing problem or if it is just rarely that this happens. I would suggest you do the same. The surgery they had was cheaper than that they found a vet for $800 so be sure to shop around if you do decide to go ahead with it.
Baby Dad Problems....Advice?
The problem is that my son's real father will see him and then dissappear.A couple of months later he will send me an e-mail stating that if I don't let him see my son he's going to take me to court and all.So I let him see my son and it's the same thing over again right after the visit's over.He says that he's already talked to a lawyer and that he will have my son 1 weekend every 2 weeks if we go to court but, my son doesn't know him!What can I do to fight back and keep him from doing this b/s stuff and acting so immature?My son see's my b/f as his Daddy because he's the only one who's been there pretty much the whole time.I'm just afraid that my son's real dad will get custody or visitation and my son will be HORRIFIED going to some guys house every other weekend that he doesn't know!!What can I do?
Additional:He does pay child support ONLY because it's taken out of his paycheck.When we had an agreement before he didn't pay which is why I took him to court.I'm 19 and he's 25.Baby Dad Problems....Advice?
Start keeping a journal %26amp; file on the number of attempts to spend times with your child along with the emails. Even journal when he does his disappearing acts. Get a Social Worker to do a mediation %26amp; explain in front of a witness why you are reserved in visitation. I am sure it is hard for your child %26amp; with your child best interest @ heart you would like it if he were more consistant. Because he has failed to demonstrate consistancy, you recommend parenting classes. This will be documented by the state %26amp; if he should take you 2 court most judges will deny him if he has made no attempt to follow through %26amp; will see that your concerns as a parent are not unreasonable. You have to keep records on all conversations though. Mark the days he calls %26amp; the days he doesn't. Journal the type of ppl who will be spending time with your child if he had visitation. If he %26amp; his friends are unstable or unresponsible then you have nothing to worry about. Tell the judge you are concern about the influences he allows around the child. I am sure you don't approve of drinking, smoking, profanity etc. around an impressionable child. Point, document everything %26amp; sell it!!! %26lt; (Your Case I mean)Baby Dad Problems....Advice?
Well the thing is that he does have rights to go after visits and he is right he will get every other weekend, that is the standard visitation for non-custodial parents. If you try to fight it then you will have prove him unfit otherwise it will come across that you are trying to alienate your son from his biological father.
If he is paying child support then he has the right to see his child. The only way for him to see his child is if you and the b/f get married and adopts the child. Then the daddy needs to give up his rights.
Proving him unfit in the eyes of the court is a lot harder then you think. Courts do NOT like to terminate biological parents rights for the mother OR father. Unless you can prove documented abuse to your child you are very unlikely to be awared a custody order which does not involve visitiation for the father. They may order for supervised visitation if you can prove neglect, drug/alcohol abuse, lack of stability but he will still have some visitation. You need an attorney and you need to go to court and get a visitiation order in place. If he disapears for weeks or months you can go back to court and have the original order amended but you need an original order first. And a visitation hearing is completely seperate from support. Until you have a visitation order he legally has the right to pick his son up anytime he wants. He has the legal right to anything regarding your son that you do. Including picking him up from school without you being notified, taking him to the doctor without your knowledge. He is entitled to visits wether he pays support or not in the eyes of the law.
to start child support has nothing to do with visitation, weather he is paying it or not it is his son. it sounds like to me that you two need to grow up a little bit. Unless he is abusive or neglets your child in any way than there is no reason for him not to be able to see him. As far as your son not knowing him maybe you two need to get together and have visits so your son knows who he is. If you further dont want him around your son let him take you to court and explain to the judge that he comes and goes and takes no active roll in your sons life and you are just trying to protect his feelings. Until something is ordered by the court you have no obligation to let him be with him. It is a tough situation and hopefully you have learned so this wont be an issue with another child in the future.
My dad is just like that with my little brother whos 8. My paretns split up a few years back and since then my dads in and outta all of our lives. Me and my sis are old enough to where we can call him and we understand. My dad demanded visitiation and everything my mom would agree she did not want to go thru court. She didnt want him to have anything to do w my bro no child support nothing. Long story short the court did demand that my dad have therapy and my brother and dad have visitation but it b w either the therapist or an appointed person. its been almost a yr and its still like this. My mom didnt want his taking my brother overnight or anything. You can demand visitation to where he will not be able to take your son or be alone with him. You must request it tho.
YOU need to go to family court to have a order of visitation rights done. This way, if he does what you say he is doing when the order is place, then you have a foot to stand on. You can go back to the court and say hey, he is ordered to see his son...., but he will see him once and then disappear.
I would also start writing down the days he does see him. When you go to court to prove your case, the judge by discontinue his visitation rights.
Additional:He does pay child support ONLY because it's taken out of his paycheck.When we had an agreement before he didn't pay which is why I took him to court.I'm 19 and he's 25.Baby Dad Problems....Advice?
Start keeping a journal %26amp; file on the number of attempts to spend times with your child along with the emails. Even journal when he does his disappearing acts. Get a Social Worker to do a mediation %26amp; explain in front of a witness why you are reserved in visitation. I am sure it is hard for your child %26amp; with your child best interest @ heart you would like it if he were more consistant. Because he has failed to demonstrate consistancy, you recommend parenting classes. This will be documented by the state %26amp; if he should take you 2 court most judges will deny him if he has made no attempt to follow through %26amp; will see that your concerns as a parent are not unreasonable. You have to keep records on all conversations though. Mark the days he calls %26amp; the days he doesn't. Journal the type of ppl who will be spending time with your child if he had visitation. If he %26amp; his friends are unstable or unresponsible then you have nothing to worry about. Tell the judge you are concern about the influences he allows around the child. I am sure you don't approve of drinking, smoking, profanity etc. around an impressionable child. Point, document everything %26amp; sell it!!! %26lt; (Your Case I mean)Baby Dad Problems....Advice?
Well the thing is that he does have rights to go after visits and he is right he will get every other weekend, that is the standard visitation for non-custodial parents. If you try to fight it then you will have prove him unfit otherwise it will come across that you are trying to alienate your son from his biological father.
If he is paying child support then he has the right to see his child. The only way for him to see his child is if you and the b/f get married and adopts the child. Then the daddy needs to give up his rights.
Proving him unfit in the eyes of the court is a lot harder then you think. Courts do NOT like to terminate biological parents rights for the mother OR father. Unless you can prove documented abuse to your child you are very unlikely to be awared a custody order which does not involve visitiation for the father. They may order for supervised visitation if you can prove neglect, drug/alcohol abuse, lack of stability but he will still have some visitation. You need an attorney and you need to go to court and get a visitiation order in place. If he disapears for weeks or months you can go back to court and have the original order amended but you need an original order first. And a visitation hearing is completely seperate from support. Until you have a visitation order he legally has the right to pick his son up anytime he wants. He has the legal right to anything regarding your son that you do. Including picking him up from school without you being notified, taking him to the doctor without your knowledge. He is entitled to visits wether he pays support or not in the eyes of the law.
to start child support has nothing to do with visitation, weather he is paying it or not it is his son. it sounds like to me that you two need to grow up a little bit. Unless he is abusive or neglets your child in any way than there is no reason for him not to be able to see him. As far as your son not knowing him maybe you two need to get together and have visits so your son knows who he is. If you further dont want him around your son let him take you to court and explain to the judge that he comes and goes and takes no active roll in your sons life and you are just trying to protect his feelings. Until something is ordered by the court you have no obligation to let him be with him. It is a tough situation and hopefully you have learned so this wont be an issue with another child in the future.
My dad is just like that with my little brother whos 8. My paretns split up a few years back and since then my dads in and outta all of our lives. Me and my sis are old enough to where we can call him and we understand. My dad demanded visitiation and everything my mom would agree she did not want to go thru court. She didnt want him to have anything to do w my bro no child support nothing. Long story short the court did demand that my dad have therapy and my brother and dad have visitation but it b w either the therapist or an appointed person. its been almost a yr and its still like this. My mom didnt want his taking my brother overnight or anything. You can demand visitation to where he will not be able to take your son or be alone with him. You must request it tho.
YOU need to go to family court to have a order of visitation rights done. This way, if he does what you say he is doing when the order is place, then you have a foot to stand on. You can go back to the court and say hey, he is ordered to see his son...., but he will see him once and then disappear.
I would also start writing down the days he does see him. When you go to court to prove your case, the judge by discontinue his visitation rights.
Child custody problems, advice needed?
I have main custody of my 3 year old daughter. Her father is now threatening to take me to court and take her away from me. The reason for this is because I am not going to split the income tax money with him. The father is trying to set a court date to take my daughter away claiming I am an unfit parent, because I work a full-time job from 11pm-7am 5 days a week. My daughter stays with his parents overnight while I am at work. My daughter also stays w/ a babysitter so I can rest 6 hours out of the day, only during the days I work. Am I really considered an unfit mother because of my work schedule. Keep in mind I do not, beat, or neglect my child, she is fed and clothed well. I do not do drugs nor drink alcohol.
Also, what steps do I need to make in order for him not to take custody away from me. I cannot afford a lawyer, I have tried to get government assistance to help pay for a lawyer, but apparently because I do have a job, I cannot get help.
Please advise me on what I can do to prevent this from happening.
Also I told him he is not entitled to any of the income tax, being that he visited w/ here approx 10 days out of the whole year.
My daughters father lives several hours away, and it has been that way well over a year. I wouldnt mind sharing the money w/ him if he cared for her more than a week or 2 out of the year, but thats just not the case. He will do anything to hurt me, he knows shes all Ive got. And, its not about the money, its about the principal, if you feel you are entitled to half, then do your job as a father. I dont want to keep her away from him, I would love for her to see him more than he does. But everytime she goes w/ him, he has to bring her back early, because of his ';job';. He is a manager at a Walmart several hours away.
My ex mother inlaw feels he is entitled to half the money because he pays court ordered child support. PLease tell me where in this paperwork does it say I have to pay him back for him paying me child support so I can feed my daughter? His mother is just as bad as he is and thinks he can do no wrong.
He tends to threaten me alot, so Im not sure if he is actually telling th etruth this time. But, just in case, since I dont have money for a lawyer. What do I need to do to prepare if I do get sent papers to appear in court over this?Child custody problems, advice needed?
I have been watching my parents go thought these types of things all my life and it really going to hurt your daughter. I lived with my mom all my life and she work 5 days a week sometimes 6 for 7am-7pm she work so far away and i had to take care of my brothers and sisters. Till finally CPS got called and I had to leave and it wasnt pretty.
But the only thing she cared about was if she was going to get her money and my dad gave it to her. Your situation seems alot like my dad your not a bad mom at all your doing your best and you always need to remind your ex that its about your daughter having a happy and healthy life if you have the girl then you get the money cause your the one who has to pay for food cloths bills car payment being a single mom is hard i have tried to help my mom as much as i can.
i just hope you never think less of yourself because you are a great mom and just do the best you can everyday.
Also, what steps do I need to make in order for him not to take custody away from me. I cannot afford a lawyer, I have tried to get government assistance to help pay for a lawyer, but apparently because I do have a job, I cannot get help.
Please advise me on what I can do to prevent this from happening.
Also I told him he is not entitled to any of the income tax, being that he visited w/ here approx 10 days out of the whole year.
My daughters father lives several hours away, and it has been that way well over a year. I wouldnt mind sharing the money w/ him if he cared for her more than a week or 2 out of the year, but thats just not the case. He will do anything to hurt me, he knows shes all Ive got. And, its not about the money, its about the principal, if you feel you are entitled to half, then do your job as a father. I dont want to keep her away from him, I would love for her to see him more than he does. But everytime she goes w/ him, he has to bring her back early, because of his ';job';. He is a manager at a Walmart several hours away.
My ex mother inlaw feels he is entitled to half the money because he pays court ordered child support. PLease tell me where in this paperwork does it say I have to pay him back for him paying me child support so I can feed my daughter? His mother is just as bad as he is and thinks he can do no wrong.
He tends to threaten me alot, so Im not sure if he is actually telling th etruth this time. But, just in case, since I dont have money for a lawyer. What do I need to do to prepare if I do get sent papers to appear in court over this?Child custody problems, advice needed?
I have been watching my parents go thought these types of things all my life and it really going to hurt your daughter. I lived with my mom all my life and she work 5 days a week sometimes 6 for 7am-7pm she work so far away and i had to take care of my brothers and sisters. Till finally CPS got called and I had to leave and it wasnt pretty.
But the only thing she cared about was if she was going to get her money and my dad gave it to her. Your situation seems alot like my dad your not a bad mom at all your doing your best and you always need to remind your ex that its about your daughter having a happy and healthy life if you have the girl then you get the money cause your the one who has to pay for food cloths bills car payment being a single mom is hard i have tried to help my mom as much as i can.
i just hope you never think less of yourself because you are a great mom and just do the best you can everyday.
Prom Date Problems?! Advice Please!?
This is a little complicated, so i`ll try to keep it as simple as possible...
-In December 2008, I asked a girl to our school prom. She said she'd think about it. A few days later, another boy asked her and gave her concert tickets, so she obviously said yes to him!
-Come early January 2009, they had argued, and she no longer wanted to go with him.
-Very early in March, she asked me and said ';I'm really sorry about what happened before, will you take me to the prom';. This really took me by surprise, and I obviously said yes to her.
-One of ';conditions'; of the date, is that its kept quiet until the prom night...Does this mean she's embarrassed of taking me, from my perspective it seems that way.
-She's a very proud girl, and sometimes self centered...I have the impression the only reason she wants me to go with her is so that she's seen with somebody on the night, and for her own benefit!?
What should I do? Dump her or keep her?!
Thanks!Prom Date Problems?! Advice Please!?
Hello....awww, the trouble of High School. I remember it well. Don't think too much about what's right and wrong here. You're young, this will be a fun time for you and try to keep it 'light.' Do you think you're going to have fun with her? If you are, then I say go with her. If you think she's going to be more trouble/drama than fun, I say find someone else to go with you. Prom is about having fun and the memories will stay with you for a lifetime so just take it for what it is. Have lots of fun and let us know what you decide to do!!Prom Date Problems?! Advice Please!?
I am the ';self centered, shallow'; girl refered to in the above question and id like to just say that there are in fact two sides to every story , what has been written above isnt a fair portrayal of the situation or of me what so ever, i find it very offencive indeed. his loss at the end of the day.
right yeah, im sorry, but i know this girl you are on about very much, and shes is totaly the opposite to who you have described. you havent even asked her what her reasons where, so im sorry hunni, you should get your facts straight before you start posting faulse stories on the internet.
This girl sounds way shallow. Dump her and find someone nicer! She wants to keep it quiet so if someone better asks her she can ditch you without anyone else knowing, so *she* won't seem like a jerk.
She's clearly using you as a backup incase she can't get another more popular person. She doesn't want the word to get out that she's taken.
Screw her man, get somebody else who would be proud to go with you.
Ask her why she wants to keep it quiet. It could be because she might change her mind again and drop you and go with him to prom.
well find out her story first but i would dump her. she seems like she using you because she knows that ur open for the prom so.... idk ur call
stay with her
if you like her at least youl be going out with her
be proud tell your frends
dump her and find someone else!!
-In December 2008, I asked a girl to our school prom. She said she'd think about it. A few days later, another boy asked her and gave her concert tickets, so she obviously said yes to him!
-Come early January 2009, they had argued, and she no longer wanted to go with him.
-Very early in March, she asked me and said ';I'm really sorry about what happened before, will you take me to the prom';. This really took me by surprise, and I obviously said yes to her.
-One of ';conditions'; of the date, is that its kept quiet until the prom night...Does this mean she's embarrassed of taking me, from my perspective it seems that way.
-She's a very proud girl, and sometimes self centered...I have the impression the only reason she wants me to go with her is so that she's seen with somebody on the night, and for her own benefit!?
What should I do? Dump her or keep her?!
Thanks!Prom Date Problems?! Advice Please!?
Hello....awww, the trouble of High School. I remember it well. Don't think too much about what's right and wrong here. You're young, this will be a fun time for you and try to keep it 'light.' Do you think you're going to have fun with her? If you are, then I say go with her. If you think she's going to be more trouble/drama than fun, I say find someone else to go with you. Prom is about having fun and the memories will stay with you for a lifetime so just take it for what it is. Have lots of fun and let us know what you decide to do!!Prom Date Problems?! Advice Please!?
I am the ';self centered, shallow'; girl refered to in the above question and id like to just say that there are in fact two sides to every story , what has been written above isnt a fair portrayal of the situation or of me what so ever, i find it very offencive indeed. his loss at the end of the day.
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right yeah, im sorry, but i know this girl you are on about very much, and shes is totaly the opposite to who you have described. you havent even asked her what her reasons where, so im sorry hunni, you should get your facts straight before you start posting faulse stories on the internet.
Report Abuse
This girl sounds way shallow. Dump her and find someone nicer! She wants to keep it quiet so if someone better asks her she can ditch you without anyone else knowing, so *she* won't seem like a jerk.
She's clearly using you as a backup incase she can't get another more popular person. She doesn't want the word to get out that she's taken.
Screw her man, get somebody else who would be proud to go with you.
Ask her why she wants to keep it quiet. It could be because she might change her mind again and drop you and go with him to prom.
well find out her story first but i would dump her. she seems like she using you because she knows that ur open for the prom so.... idk ur call
stay with her
if you like her at least youl be going out with her
be proud tell your frends
dump her and find someone else!!
TTC!! Woman Problems Advice Please!! : (?
Ok, well my husband and I have been trying for a few months to concieve # 2 !
I am about 3 days away from when my period is supposed to come. Well friday I woke up with a cold sore on my lip, and a little bit of burning when i pee'd, the burning got worse and the cold sore is still here. yesterday I started feeling the onset of a yeast infection, its not bad yet but itchy inside. Im so sorry for the Graphic info. I just have no idea why this could be happening. I never get Uti's, Yeast Infections, or Cold Sores.
Has Anyone Experienced This? I know these are some ';symptoms'; of pregnancy, but has anyone else personally experienced this? Anyone have an opinion?
Any answers appreciated and yes I'm going to the doctor tomorrow.
Thanks!
10 + points to most helpful answer!
TTC!! Woman Problems Advice Please!! : (?
the sore on ur lip seems like it could be an infection or some kind, that is one of the effects of an STD, so get checked ASAP k and i be leave that it can be curred. TTC!! Woman Problems Advice Please!! : (?
I would go and get checked out at the doctor. Seriously, it sounds like you have an infection brewing. I would hope that your husband hasn't been anywhere he shouldn't have been.
I am about 3 days away from when my period is supposed to come. Well friday I woke up with a cold sore on my lip, and a little bit of burning when i pee'd, the burning got worse and the cold sore is still here. yesterday I started feeling the onset of a yeast infection, its not bad yet but itchy inside. Im so sorry for the Graphic info. I just have no idea why this could be happening. I never get Uti's, Yeast Infections, or Cold Sores.
Has Anyone Experienced This? I know these are some ';symptoms'; of pregnancy, but has anyone else personally experienced this? Anyone have an opinion?
Any answers appreciated and yes I'm going to the doctor tomorrow.
Thanks!
10 + points to most helpful answer!
TTC!! Woman Problems Advice Please!! : (?
the sore on ur lip seems like it could be an infection or some kind, that is one of the effects of an STD, so get checked ASAP k and i be leave that it can be curred. TTC!! Woman Problems Advice Please!! : (?
I would go and get checked out at the doctor. Seriously, it sounds like you have an infection brewing. I would hope that your husband hasn't been anywhere he shouldn't have been.
Ed recovery?Problems/Advice, help..?
I have had E.D. since i was about 6 years old, it was simply just thinking ';when Im older, I'll be really thin';, I always was watching my every movement, in-case it made me look ';fat';, which I was actually underweight when I was that age.(Looking back on pictures you could tell) What triggered my E.D. was sexual abuse I had for 2-3years, almost everyday from my Grandfather, plus emotional abuse from my Father and my Brother, plus Peers at school.
I am only a teenager(14-16) I would write my age but, I also am way paranoid, and anyone else with an eating disorder can relate.
I go through cycles on gaining weight(Monthly binging and purging) When that happens I force myself to eat thinking this is all I will be good at.. EATING.
Then I'll start a fast, water fast, liquid fast, Juice fast, You name it, That will continue for a week, then I'll stop putting anything in my body for weeks, only a little water everyday, sometimes a piece of an orange(One slice from it). Its a terrible cycle. And honestly I am so sick of it, Im sick of being SICK!
So I decided im going to make meal plans, and times in a notebook that I must fallow everyday, I also put two different ones to choose from, in-case im having a ';Omg, Im so fat'; type day.
Right now im doing a day water fast(Because I was feeling overwhelmed) But im starting tomorrow, with my meal plans.
(Every meal plan is under 400 calories, I know it is ';bad', but I have to start somewhere)
I really want to get better and well, so do you think this plan would work? Any one else try Self Recovery?
Does any one have any tips for motivation to prevent fall-backs?
And do you think it is a good idea to start taking ';Digestive Enzymes';, ';Probiotic's';, and ';Ginger Root'; pills?
AND if you have any self experiences with overcoming E.D. PLEASE SHARE.Ed recovery?Problems/Advice, help..?
Eating disorder is a very hard thing to overcome. Sometimes triggered by depression, which is what I think caused yours. (Guessing that you were sexually/verbally abused). Know that you aren't alone; nor are you the only person in the world. Thousands of teens around your age having eating disorders and paranoia. I am very proud of you that you are taking action and making meal plans. You should be very proud of yourself too. See, the first step to getting better is to realize you have a problem, and the second is to take action. Your doing something about it; which is good. I highly suggest getting on some sort of pill; and seeing a doctor/psychiatrist. They can definitely help you. I'm positive you will overcome it. Good luck to you and God bless you. :)Ed recovery?Problems/Advice, help..?
You need to see a dietician. Recovery is such a difficult process, there is almost no way to avoid relapses without some help. A 400 calorie meal plan is very restrictive, but atleast you have a plan. Try to start by planning 3 meals with 3 snacks a day. Grains, Nuts, and lean meats are a must!
pores
I am only a teenager(14-16) I would write my age but, I also am way paranoid, and anyone else with an eating disorder can relate.
I go through cycles on gaining weight(Monthly binging and purging) When that happens I force myself to eat thinking this is all I will be good at.. EATING.
Then I'll start a fast, water fast, liquid fast, Juice fast, You name it, That will continue for a week, then I'll stop putting anything in my body for weeks, only a little water everyday, sometimes a piece of an orange(One slice from it). Its a terrible cycle. And honestly I am so sick of it, Im sick of being SICK!
So I decided im going to make meal plans, and times in a notebook that I must fallow everyday, I also put two different ones to choose from, in-case im having a ';Omg, Im so fat'; type day.
Right now im doing a day water fast(Because I was feeling overwhelmed) But im starting tomorrow, with my meal plans.
(Every meal plan is under 400 calories, I know it is ';bad', but I have to start somewhere)
I really want to get better and well, so do you think this plan would work? Any one else try Self Recovery?
Does any one have any tips for motivation to prevent fall-backs?
And do you think it is a good idea to start taking ';Digestive Enzymes';, ';Probiotic's';, and ';Ginger Root'; pills?
AND if you have any self experiences with overcoming E.D. PLEASE SHARE.Ed recovery?Problems/Advice, help..?
Eating disorder is a very hard thing to overcome. Sometimes triggered by depression, which is what I think caused yours. (Guessing that you were sexually/verbally abused). Know that you aren't alone; nor are you the only person in the world. Thousands of teens around your age having eating disorders and paranoia. I am very proud of you that you are taking action and making meal plans. You should be very proud of yourself too. See, the first step to getting better is to realize you have a problem, and the second is to take action. Your doing something about it; which is good. I highly suggest getting on some sort of pill; and seeing a doctor/psychiatrist. They can definitely help you. I'm positive you will overcome it. Good luck to you and God bless you. :)Ed recovery?Problems/Advice, help..?
You need to see a dietician. Recovery is such a difficult process, there is almost no way to avoid relapses without some help. A 400 calorie meal plan is very restrictive, but atleast you have a plan. Try to start by planning 3 meals with 3 snacks a day. Grains, Nuts, and lean meats are a must!
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Baby Dad Problems...Advice Anyone?
The problem is that my son's real father will see him and then dissappear.A couple of months later he will send me an e-mail stating that if I don't let him see my son he's going to take me to court and all.So I let him see my son and it's the same thing over again right after the visit's over.He says that he's already talked to a lawyer and that he will have my son 1 weekend every 2 weeks if we go to court but, my son doesn't know him!What can I do to fight back and keep him from doing this b/s stuff and acting so immature?My son see's my b/f as his Daddy because he's the only one who's been there pretty much the whole time.I'm just afraid that my son's real dad will get custody or visitation and my son will be HORRIFIED going to some guys house every other weekend that he doesn't know!!What can I do?
Additional:He does pay child support ONLY because it's taken out of his paycheck.When we had an agreement before he didn't pay which is why I took him to court.Baby Dad Problems...Advice Anyone?
The only advice I have for you to do, is talk to a lawyer about the situation. The lawyer will then list options. You dont even have to get a lawyer if you dont have the money, just talk to one about the situation. After that, tell the baby's father what your going to do and that you have talked to a lawyer. If he wants to go to court, then hire a lawyer. You will know ahead of time that he truly is taking you to court because they will send you letters and notify you by mail.Baby Dad Problems...Advice Anyone?
You have no control over what your baby's father does---ever.
You have learned this lesson, having to take him to court to get money out of him.
Assume he will behave this way his entire life, and accept it.
He will only do what he is forced by law to do---but feel no responsibility for anything, ever.
Let me get this straight... You want to prevent your child from getting to know his father? Oh, where do I begin with this one?
First of all, no matter how much you want it to be true, your boyfriend is not, and will never be this child's biological father. There is nothing you can do that will change this fact.
Why would you want to take this opportunity away from your child? Just because things didn't work out between you two, doesn't mean you have the right to erase him from your child's life. Your son will one day be old enough to realize what you're trying to do, and will blame you for his father not being in his life.
You have no legal right to keep your son's biological father from spending time with his son. Even in cases of documented abuse, the father at least has rights to supervised visitation. He is correct in what he's telling you- if this goes to court, you will be forced by the Judge to allow them to spend time together- likely every other weekend at the very least, as well as holidays and special occasions. If you do not allow it, you will go to jail for contempt of court.
Also, payment of child support has nothing to do with a father's right to visitation. If he's not paying, you are still legally obliged to allow him his visitation rights.
Count your blessings. There are so many fathers out there who want nothing to do with their children. It's refreshing to hear of a father that is willing to fight for his right to his children.
Doesn't sound like he's the bad person in this situation. You need to let go of your personal issues, and allow your son to develop his relationship with his father. Sounds to me like you're the one getting in the way of the two getting to know each other. Who cares how much time passes between visits? Perhaps you'll find, if you're a little nicer to him, things might become tolerable- But when it comes down to it, you have no choice in this matter.
You're not doing anybody any favors by trying to erase this child's father- especially for your son. Like I said, it's only a matter of time before he's old enough to realize what you've done- and mark my words, he's going to try to erase YOU from his life once he makes this realization.
Additional:He does pay child support ONLY because it's taken out of his paycheck.When we had an agreement before he didn't pay which is why I took him to court.Baby Dad Problems...Advice Anyone?
The only advice I have for you to do, is talk to a lawyer about the situation. The lawyer will then list options. You dont even have to get a lawyer if you dont have the money, just talk to one about the situation. After that, tell the baby's father what your going to do and that you have talked to a lawyer. If he wants to go to court, then hire a lawyer. You will know ahead of time that he truly is taking you to court because they will send you letters and notify you by mail.Baby Dad Problems...Advice Anyone?
You have no control over what your baby's father does---ever.
You have learned this lesson, having to take him to court to get money out of him.
Assume he will behave this way his entire life, and accept it.
He will only do what he is forced by law to do---but feel no responsibility for anything, ever.
Let me get this straight... You want to prevent your child from getting to know his father? Oh, where do I begin with this one?
First of all, no matter how much you want it to be true, your boyfriend is not, and will never be this child's biological father. There is nothing you can do that will change this fact.
Why would you want to take this opportunity away from your child? Just because things didn't work out between you two, doesn't mean you have the right to erase him from your child's life. Your son will one day be old enough to realize what you're trying to do, and will blame you for his father not being in his life.
You have no legal right to keep your son's biological father from spending time with his son. Even in cases of documented abuse, the father at least has rights to supervised visitation. He is correct in what he's telling you- if this goes to court, you will be forced by the Judge to allow them to spend time together- likely every other weekend at the very least, as well as holidays and special occasions. If you do not allow it, you will go to jail for contempt of court.
Also, payment of child support has nothing to do with a father's right to visitation. If he's not paying, you are still legally obliged to allow him his visitation rights.
Count your blessings. There are so many fathers out there who want nothing to do with their children. It's refreshing to hear of a father that is willing to fight for his right to his children.
Doesn't sound like he's the bad person in this situation. You need to let go of your personal issues, and allow your son to develop his relationship with his father. Sounds to me like you're the one getting in the way of the two getting to know each other. Who cares how much time passes between visits? Perhaps you'll find, if you're a little nicer to him, things might become tolerable- But when it comes down to it, you have no choice in this matter.
You're not doing anybody any favors by trying to erase this child's father- especially for your son. Like I said, it's only a matter of time before he's old enough to realize what you've done- and mark my words, he's going to try to erase YOU from his life once he makes this realization.
Ear problems, advice would be nice?
I've had this left ear problems for months now. I've been to the doctors and he cleaned it out after I had been trying for weeks.( yes I use ear wax stuff and h.p) I told him that is still felt like I had a bubble in my ear, he siad thats cause its wet. Well a month later and it still the same.
I clean it out several times and there is no wax in it but I can hear my self breath, yet I can hardly hear out of it but theres nothing coming out of it.
I s frustrated. It doesn't bother me at night. It starts when I walk out the door and get to work. (They smoke indoors at work and I don't (Yes I know but I can't find another job)) but it stop about 30 min after I get home. I don't get it. I can't afford to go back to the ENT and the only doctor open is a ';band aid clinic'; that said my ear was just wet the first time.
Any ideas on what would be wrong? Ive tried swimmer ear med too and that didn't work. My head kinda hurts but I think thats cause of the smoke. Other then my ear I feel fine. Frustrated, annoyed but fine.
Don't tell me to try and pop it cause it doesn't work. pops and then it bubbles up again. Ear problems, advice would be nice?
$4 and you don't even need to see the doctor!
I had a similar problem last spring. My ear felt full of wax all the time and kept popping...I agree, totally annoying. I tried the wax remover and ended up seeing my doc when the pain got bad enough I thought it was an ear infections. She said that there was no infection and she had no concern for wax, she said that fluid was built up behind my ear drum causing all the symptoms. I did as she said and got the good sudafed (that you don't need a prescription for, but have to get from behind the counter at the pharmacy - the cheap brand is less than $4). I took it twice a day for about 1.5 weeks and like magic it was gone.
I usually have similar allergy problems in the fall that result in high fevers and infections. I took the sudafed this fall instead of benedryl like I used to take and I made it through fall without any infections :o) Ear problems, advice would be nice?
I've had similar problems like this. Last spring, my left ear was leaking and I couldn't hear a thing from it and that was because I had a tear in my ear drum. I've had ear problems for years. You may have a slight tear in your eardrum, and it can get irritated by the smoke. I'm trying to remember what I took... I started of on Amoxicilin, then they upped me to Augmentin. That helped soooooo much and it soon started to heal and my hearing was still a little damaged from the scar tissue on my ear drum, but it did heal. It took a while, also we did not get it checked out for 6 weeks, which did NOT help. My ENT prescribed the meds so I hope this helps! Good luck and feel better!!!
I clean it out several times and there is no wax in it but I can hear my self breath, yet I can hardly hear out of it but theres nothing coming out of it.
I s frustrated. It doesn't bother me at night. It starts when I walk out the door and get to work. (They smoke indoors at work and I don't (Yes I know but I can't find another job)) but it stop about 30 min after I get home. I don't get it. I can't afford to go back to the ENT and the only doctor open is a ';band aid clinic'; that said my ear was just wet the first time.
Any ideas on what would be wrong? Ive tried swimmer ear med too and that didn't work. My head kinda hurts but I think thats cause of the smoke. Other then my ear I feel fine. Frustrated, annoyed but fine.
Don't tell me to try and pop it cause it doesn't work. pops and then it bubbles up again. Ear problems, advice would be nice?
$4 and you don't even need to see the doctor!
I had a similar problem last spring. My ear felt full of wax all the time and kept popping...I agree, totally annoying. I tried the wax remover and ended up seeing my doc when the pain got bad enough I thought it was an ear infections. She said that there was no infection and she had no concern for wax, she said that fluid was built up behind my ear drum causing all the symptoms. I did as she said and got the good sudafed (that you don't need a prescription for, but have to get from behind the counter at the pharmacy - the cheap brand is less than $4). I took it twice a day for about 1.5 weeks and like magic it was gone.
I usually have similar allergy problems in the fall that result in high fevers and infections. I took the sudafed this fall instead of benedryl like I used to take and I made it through fall without any infections :o) Ear problems, advice would be nice?
I've had similar problems like this. Last spring, my left ear was leaking and I couldn't hear a thing from it and that was because I had a tear in my ear drum. I've had ear problems for years. You may have a slight tear in your eardrum, and it can get irritated by the smoke. I'm trying to remember what I took... I started of on Amoxicilin, then they upped me to Augmentin. That helped soooooo much and it soon started to heal and my hearing was still a little damaged from the scar tissue on my ear drum, but it did heal. It took a while, also we did not get it checked out for 6 weeks, which did NOT help. My ENT prescribed the meds so I hope this helps! Good luck and feel better!!!
Friend problems. Advice!!?
Ok so I have this friend who I've known for 6years now. We used to be best friends, but then she went off with another girl.
Since then she's really gone downhill and she says she's been taking drugs (cocaine, heroin, pills, weed) and cutting herself. She says that she hates the person she's become so that we'll say something to make her feel better about herself. She also says that she misses all her old friends, but she never makes an effort to see any of us. She invites us round to her house and then doesn't answer the door, or says that her sisters turned up so we can't go in.
I met her a couple weeks ago and her eye kept twitching and she was shaking a lot, but I don't know whether she was putting it all on for attention.
Anytime anybody tries to talk to her about drugs to her face, she changes the subject, but if we ask her over msn she talks about it.
I don't know why she's like this. Is it attention seeking or does she really have a problem? I really don't know what to believe with her anymore coz she lies a lot. Help!!Friend problems. Advice!!?
Sometimes it is hard to let go of old friends, but in this situation it is something you might have to do. At this point as a friend you should suggest she gets help/counseling for her drug use, maybe refer her to a church or a drug rehab if you know of any that are in your area, let her know if she needs your support you will be there to help but that she must be committed to getting help or you will not put yourself in that type of situation . At that point you can only hope she take your advise but if she doesn't you will need to cut all ties with her untill she is willing to help herself otherwise she could drag you into her world! be carefull and good luck.Friend problems. Advice!!?
Ok listen, its not all attention seeking. Mostly its because shes just trying to be normal. help her along but don't let her become the center of your life.Invite her over to your house to hang out with you. But only you.try to get her back to normal by doing things u used to do togetherbefore she met this other girl.And go and beat the **** out of the girl that showed ehr all of this.
She probably really does have a problem, but it was her decision. If she never ditched you for someone else, she wouldn't have had any problems with drugs and self abuse. If she would like to come back to you and some other old friends, maybe you should give her a chance to show that she could change. If she decides that she wants the lifestyle she has now, so be it... Hope this sorta helped, and GOOD LUCK [:
Hi
If she is really your friend You will talk to her and make it clear you can tell she is on drugs . Tell her you are worried about her . Her new ';Friends'; Are only trying to do her Harm From your words I really think she has a drug problem . If she continues she is on the road to the gutter
Steve
people who do drugs tend to get nerveous and twitch a whole lot.and her friends are probably influencing her to not talk to her old friends.if they got her to smoke weed and do drugs they can get her to basically do anything.you friend needs help from you and her old friends before something worse happens.
it could be both attention seeking and problems
i've gone through the same process with a friend of mine before
and the thing is, if she's seeking attention... then there IS a problem
just keep being there for her, she'll open up to you
you need to call a phsyciatric hospital becouse i used to be just like that my best friend turned me in and i got alot of help and i thank her for that and try to be there for her when she gets out
oh jeez. Idroduce her to god? read parts of the bible to her like proverbs says to choose friends wisely. she might be hanging with some bad people now. tell her to pray. pray for her and make sure you tell an adult. goodluck(:
She really has a problem and she really needs help. Unfortunately she is the only one that can make the decision to get help.
it sounds like she has a problem...
does her parents know she's taking drugs...
try talking to her parents
or talking to her over msn.............tell her to get help if she has a problem
You need to help her this sounds like its from a bad teenage drama
Get rid of her. You don't need that kind of trouble in your life. She made her bed, let her lie in it.
ask if you can help her anyway but she has to be truthful
okay i know what your friend is going through. I was that friend. I was cutting and drinking. the whole time i was thinking that nobody really understood what was going on. You need to make her listen to you. scream at her if you have to. make her understand that doing all this is going to cause her to die. and make her realize the effects other people besides her are having. tell her if she doesnt get her act stright that no one is going to want to around her that pretty soon everyone that she ever trusted will leave her if she doesnt put in the effert. i hope my advise works.
Sounds bad and while she may be doing it for attention she is also addicted to finding the next best high. She needs to be told the honest truth that what she is doing is wrong, she needs to get into rehab, and you need to be supportive but only to the extent of helping and not supporting her actions. Its hard but if she doesn't change this will eventually kill her whether its in the next year or 10 years from now it will. You know she doesn't want to die while she is in that kind of lifestyle so for her sake be honest and blunt and then let her make the decision.
Those who are not our friends are true indicators of our character. It sounds harsh, but if your friend is smoking crack you're better off without her. You're neither her mother nor a professional doctor/therapist and it's not your job to get her clean. The best thing you can do is to let her know you're there for her if she needs help or an ear, but I think you're better off surrounding yourself with good people who do good things. You can't care about someone who doesn't care about themselves.
Since then she's really gone downhill and she says she's been taking drugs (cocaine, heroin, pills, weed) and cutting herself. She says that she hates the person she's become so that we'll say something to make her feel better about herself. She also says that she misses all her old friends, but she never makes an effort to see any of us. She invites us round to her house and then doesn't answer the door, or says that her sisters turned up so we can't go in.
I met her a couple weeks ago and her eye kept twitching and she was shaking a lot, but I don't know whether she was putting it all on for attention.
Anytime anybody tries to talk to her about drugs to her face, she changes the subject, but if we ask her over msn she talks about it.
I don't know why she's like this. Is it attention seeking or does she really have a problem? I really don't know what to believe with her anymore coz she lies a lot. Help!!Friend problems. Advice!!?
Sometimes it is hard to let go of old friends, but in this situation it is something you might have to do. At this point as a friend you should suggest she gets help/counseling for her drug use, maybe refer her to a church or a drug rehab if you know of any that are in your area, let her know if she needs your support you will be there to help but that she must be committed to getting help or you will not put yourself in that type of situation . At that point you can only hope she take your advise but if she doesn't you will need to cut all ties with her untill she is willing to help herself otherwise she could drag you into her world! be carefull and good luck.Friend problems. Advice!!?
Ok listen, its not all attention seeking. Mostly its because shes just trying to be normal. help her along but don't let her become the center of your life.Invite her over to your house to hang out with you. But only you.try to get her back to normal by doing things u used to do togetherbefore she met this other girl.And go and beat the **** out of the girl that showed ehr all of this.
She probably really does have a problem, but it was her decision. If she never ditched you for someone else, she wouldn't have had any problems with drugs and self abuse. If she would like to come back to you and some other old friends, maybe you should give her a chance to show that she could change. If she decides that she wants the lifestyle she has now, so be it... Hope this sorta helped, and GOOD LUCK [:
Hi
If she is really your friend You will talk to her and make it clear you can tell she is on drugs . Tell her you are worried about her . Her new ';Friends'; Are only trying to do her Harm From your words I really think she has a drug problem . If she continues she is on the road to the gutter
Steve
people who do drugs tend to get nerveous and twitch a whole lot.and her friends are probably influencing her to not talk to her old friends.if they got her to smoke weed and do drugs they can get her to basically do anything.you friend needs help from you and her old friends before something worse happens.
it could be both attention seeking and problems
i've gone through the same process with a friend of mine before
and the thing is, if she's seeking attention... then there IS a problem
just keep being there for her, she'll open up to you
you need to call a phsyciatric hospital becouse i used to be just like that my best friend turned me in and i got alot of help and i thank her for that and try to be there for her when she gets out
oh jeez. Idroduce her to god? read parts of the bible to her like proverbs says to choose friends wisely. she might be hanging with some bad people now. tell her to pray. pray for her and make sure you tell an adult. goodluck(:
She really has a problem and she really needs help. Unfortunately she is the only one that can make the decision to get help.
it sounds like she has a problem...
does her parents know she's taking drugs...
try talking to her parents
or talking to her over msn.............tell her to get help if she has a problem
You need to help her this sounds like its from a bad teenage drama
Get rid of her. You don't need that kind of trouble in your life. She made her bed, let her lie in it.
ask if you can help her anyway but she has to be truthful
okay i know what your friend is going through. I was that friend. I was cutting and drinking. the whole time i was thinking that nobody really understood what was going on. You need to make her listen to you. scream at her if you have to. make her understand that doing all this is going to cause her to die. and make her realize the effects other people besides her are having. tell her if she doesnt get her act stright that no one is going to want to around her that pretty soon everyone that she ever trusted will leave her if she doesnt put in the effert. i hope my advise works.
Sounds bad and while she may be doing it for attention she is also addicted to finding the next best high. She needs to be told the honest truth that what she is doing is wrong, she needs to get into rehab, and you need to be supportive but only to the extent of helping and not supporting her actions. Its hard but if she doesn't change this will eventually kill her whether its in the next year or 10 years from now it will. You know she doesn't want to die while she is in that kind of lifestyle so for her sake be honest and blunt and then let her make the decision.
Those who are not our friends are true indicators of our character. It sounds harsh, but if your friend is smoking crack you're better off without her. You're neither her mother nor a professional doctor/therapist and it's not your job to get her clean. The best thing you can do is to let her know you're there for her if she needs help or an ear, but I think you're better off surrounding yourself with good people who do good things. You can't care about someone who doesn't care about themselves.
Boy Problems.. advice.. help me choose. ';/?
okay so i like these two amazing guys. theres jake, he is really extremly cute, funny, sweet, romantic, and everything but he is moving to hawaii in june so that isnt good.. then there is josh he is cute, really sweet, he is one of my best friends and he has always been there for me through everything. but sometimes i cant tell if he likes me or if he just wants to ';get some'; ya know what i mean.. and i asked him about it his exact words were ';i like being with you.. but at school your just... you'; but then we got distracted and i couldnt answer.. him back.. but its so hard like i madeout with jake then the next day i madeout with josh.. and they dont know about each other.. and i feel horrible like i have to choose one. but i dont wanna make the wrong decision and lose both of them.Boy Problems.. advice.. help me choose. ';/?
u shud talk to josh again to see how he feels and explain ur own feelings being with jake would be a lost cause as he is moving soooo far away and long distance never worksBoy Problems.. advice.. help me choose. ';/?
honey....
long distance relationships almost NEVER work out..
but you know what, if josh is one of your best friends then you should NOT date him...it could ruin your friendship with him..
i think that you should try and find another guy...
i am sure you are beautiful if 2 guys made out with you..you can probably get so many other cuter, funnier, and sweeter guys than josh and jake...honestly, listen to me...because this exact thing happened to me...
GOOD LUCK
u shud talk to josh again to see how he feels and explain ur own feelings being with jake would be a lost cause as he is moving soooo far away and long distance never worksBoy Problems.. advice.. help me choose. ';/?
honey....
long distance relationships almost NEVER work out..
but you know what, if josh is one of your best friends then you should NOT date him...it could ruin your friendship with him..
i think that you should try and find another guy...
i am sure you are beautiful if 2 guys made out with you..you can probably get so many other cuter, funnier, and sweeter guys than josh and jake...honestly, listen to me...because this exact thing happened to me...
GOOD LUCK
GIRL PROBLEMS- ADVICE; GUYS & GIRLS?
Okay, I have a lot on my mind. I am no where near a slut %26amp; all the guys in my school are looking for sex. I am not prude, I just have to have feelings for them to do that stuff. I haven't done anything with a guy except making out.. %26amp; i dont want to get used. So, should I just waite for the right guy? Also, when i like a guy im not the type to go crazy to get his attention.. im not like that. What should I do? All the guys go after the sluts, what do I do?
Also, GUYS LIKE HOT BODIES!!!!!!!! i have small boobs and i dont have an ***. i just feel like im not good enough for anyone.
any advice?GIRL PROBLEMS- ADVICE; GUYS %26amp; GIRLS?
Well, look at the maturity of the men you're dealing with. Personally I like a girl who is a tomboy type. Who is fun to be with not a drama queen. You might have to put yourself out there a little to find the guy you like, not sexually, I mean talk to him. If he blows you off for the other girl (slutty type) you're better off. The smartest choice is finding the right person.
You've heard of breast men (guys who like girls boobs). There are leg men out there (guys who like girls legs). Besides give yourself sometime to develop. You sound young, everyone develops at different rates.
If you want someone to value you. You have to learn to value yourself. You're smart enough to look for help and resist the temptation of getting used for attention. Sounds like you are good enough. Start believing in yourself.GIRL PROBLEMS- ADVICE; GUYS %26amp; GIRLS?
Like you said, they're just looking for sex. You don't want to attract a guy like that because you're not into that sort of thing. Chances are if you were to have feelings for them and then have sex, you'll end up being or feeling as if you were used. Not to mention, if the guy just likes you because you have a hot body, he's probably just in it for what he can get. Don't change who you are to be in a temporary relationship with some superficial guy.
Not all guys go after sex so you shouldn't make that generalization and im sure you dont personally know every guy in your school inside out. Just be your self and the right guy will like you. If you dont be yourself and a guy likes you then he isn't in love with the real you. He only likes the fake you. So what good is that? As for the body type issue i know plenty of guys who dont really care for big boobs or curvy bodies it really varies so don't worry.
first please understand you need to either have t*its or a**ss. one or the other. if you don't have **** go to the gym and get a Fantasic A**ss for guy to Pump. And second if you want to land yourself a Man you need to suck and to F**uck. that's just the way it is in 2009. if you don't believe me read Vogue Magazine or Cosmopolitan, or turn on the TV, or radio, or a music-video. We are Sex Objects plain and simple.
Don't ever think you're not good enough, and those guys at your school are nothing if they're only into hot bodies, and a girl they can score easily with.
You should keep being yourself, it doesn't matter what anyone thinks. Don't change either because eventually, someone will fall for [YOU].
Your choice.
%26gt;Be yourself; that's genuine%26lt;
Don't change ur self in order to let guys attracted to you , you must be yourself not anyone else and then later on you'll find the right guy :D:D
And as u said they are looking for sex so they dnt look for the personality then they won't last in any relationship just wait and u'll find the right guy !!
Just wait for the right guy. Any guy now who says he loves you and then tried to play you, he doesn't really love you. Just be yourself and a wonderful guy will come along who will love you for who you are and he won't care what your body looks like in terms of 'hotness'.
Have a wonderful day.
~Love is kind, and love is patient~
I'd say that you can wait for the right guy for sex, and that's respectable, but at least go to second with a guy to reel him in, then you can wait it out.
And to be honest, you probably won't find the ';right'; guy this early, so just have fun.
Hey, stop berating your self. There are guys out there, though they may be rare, who can be good friends without leching after you for sex. Stay strong, be the friend that you want from a friend. After you become friends, and can trust each other, that guy may be the one.
You should just wait for the right guy, there's no sense selling yourself out like a prostitute. Also, be yourself. If a guy only looks at you physically and doesn't pay attention to how great your personality is, it's his loss.
Good girls always get to met mama and the loose ones will always want what you have.. stay patient and he will loves all those qualities about you and he will know that you can be trusted.
Your losing self confidence over something stupid your perfectly fine the way you are dont change your look or your personality for any guy trust me im sure you will find your perfect match some day just be more outgong and talk active but dont be a show off .
hey people help me with my question below
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AuoTL77yum0dfhgZnJWgbDjsy6IX;_ylv=3?qid=20090214135955AAb5Vvv
Be happy for your identity. Not all guys go for sex. I know that there will be a perfect guy along in your life who would treat you with respect inside and outside. Just keep your chin up.
Well sweet heart best thing is to not worry I bet your a nice girl but if you think somethings wrong do something about it . I guess you could try the rock band people they are cool :) (Dont worry about it :))
I would wait. If you start dressing like a slut too, you'll become one. That's not good. Please wait. Your better then all of those girls!
just wait for the right guy, and in the mean time dont let any other guy use you or fool u.
wait...they're not worth losing it
Also, GUYS LIKE HOT BODIES!!!!!!!! i have small boobs and i dont have an ***. i just feel like im not good enough for anyone.
any advice?GIRL PROBLEMS- ADVICE; GUYS %26amp; GIRLS?
Well, look at the maturity of the men you're dealing with. Personally I like a girl who is a tomboy type. Who is fun to be with not a drama queen. You might have to put yourself out there a little to find the guy you like, not sexually, I mean talk to him. If he blows you off for the other girl (slutty type) you're better off. The smartest choice is finding the right person.
You've heard of breast men (guys who like girls boobs). There are leg men out there (guys who like girls legs). Besides give yourself sometime to develop. You sound young, everyone develops at different rates.
If you want someone to value you. You have to learn to value yourself. You're smart enough to look for help and resist the temptation of getting used for attention. Sounds like you are good enough. Start believing in yourself.GIRL PROBLEMS- ADVICE; GUYS %26amp; GIRLS?
Like you said, they're just looking for sex. You don't want to attract a guy like that because you're not into that sort of thing. Chances are if you were to have feelings for them and then have sex, you'll end up being or feeling as if you were used. Not to mention, if the guy just likes you because you have a hot body, he's probably just in it for what he can get. Don't change who you are to be in a temporary relationship with some superficial guy.
Not all guys go after sex so you shouldn't make that generalization and im sure you dont personally know every guy in your school inside out. Just be your self and the right guy will like you. If you dont be yourself and a guy likes you then he isn't in love with the real you. He only likes the fake you. So what good is that? As for the body type issue i know plenty of guys who dont really care for big boobs or curvy bodies it really varies so don't worry.
first please understand you need to either have t*its or a**ss. one or the other. if you don't have **** go to the gym and get a Fantasic A**ss for guy to Pump. And second if you want to land yourself a Man you need to suck and to F**uck. that's just the way it is in 2009. if you don't believe me read Vogue Magazine or Cosmopolitan, or turn on the TV, or radio, or a music-video. We are Sex Objects plain and simple.
Don't ever think you're not good enough, and those guys at your school are nothing if they're only into hot bodies, and a girl they can score easily with.
You should keep being yourself, it doesn't matter what anyone thinks. Don't change either because eventually, someone will fall for [YOU].
Your choice.
%26gt;Be yourself; that's genuine%26lt;
Don't change ur self in order to let guys attracted to you , you must be yourself not anyone else and then later on you'll find the right guy :D:D
And as u said they are looking for sex so they dnt look for the personality then they won't last in any relationship just wait and u'll find the right guy !!
Just wait for the right guy. Any guy now who says he loves you and then tried to play you, he doesn't really love you. Just be yourself and a wonderful guy will come along who will love you for who you are and he won't care what your body looks like in terms of 'hotness'.
Have a wonderful day.
~Love is kind, and love is patient~
I'd say that you can wait for the right guy for sex, and that's respectable, but at least go to second with a guy to reel him in, then you can wait it out.
And to be honest, you probably won't find the ';right'; guy this early, so just have fun.
Hey, stop berating your self. There are guys out there, though they may be rare, who can be good friends without leching after you for sex. Stay strong, be the friend that you want from a friend. After you become friends, and can trust each other, that guy may be the one.
You should just wait for the right guy, there's no sense selling yourself out like a prostitute. Also, be yourself. If a guy only looks at you physically and doesn't pay attention to how great your personality is, it's his loss.
Good girls always get to met mama and the loose ones will always want what you have.. stay patient and he will loves all those qualities about you and he will know that you can be trusted.
Your losing self confidence over something stupid your perfectly fine the way you are dont change your look or your personality for any guy trust me im sure you will find your perfect match some day just be more outgong and talk active but dont be a show off .
hey people help me with my question below
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AuoTL77yum0dfhgZnJWgbDjsy6IX;_ylv=3?qid=20090214135955AAb5Vvv
Be happy for your identity. Not all guys go for sex. I know that there will be a perfect guy along in your life who would treat you with respect inside and outside. Just keep your chin up.
Well sweet heart best thing is to not worry I bet your a nice girl but if you think somethings wrong do something about it . I guess you could try the rock band people they are cool :) (Dont worry about it :))
I would wait. If you start dressing like a slut too, you'll become one. That's not good. Please wait. Your better then all of those girls!
just wait for the right guy, and in the mean time dont let any other guy use you or fool u.
wait...they're not worth losing it
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